[CT] Never forgetting Donna Bochicchio, who knew her retired 21-year veteran state trooper husband would kill her [2005]

Donna Lynn Seitz Bochicchio

July 27, 1963 - June 15, 2005

...Donna Bochicchio penned a note on a small piece of paper: "I know he's going to kill me, I just don't know when"...

Donna Bochicchio's death and the maiming of her attorney Julie Porzio is not completely in vain if even one person learns one thing toward staying alive from it. There is no blame for what is  already done. No should-have, could-have. We do our best at the time with the resources and energy that we have, but we have to learn what it looks like and feels like when we are in danger and listen to that, trust that. It has many faces. No two situations are exactly the same but there are patterns if we pay attention - for victim, friends, and family. God helps us all in the present and the future. My prayer is that some how, some way, some good has or will come from this sadness and loss.

Donna's divorce attorney Julie Porzio

PREVIOUS POSTS:

• [CT] INJURED ATTORNEY OF SLAIN WIFE IN TROOPER BOCHICCHIO MURDER-SUICIDE SUES
• [CT] "RETIRED" COP WHO IS BROTHER OF WIFE-KILLER, EX-TROOPER BOCHICCHIO, NOW ACCUSED OF THREATENING HIS OWN WIFE'S LIFE 
• [CT] KIDS OF MURDER-SUICIDE STAY IN THEIR POLICE FAMILY, REGARDLESS OF RECENT THREATS AROUND THEM
• [CT] EX-COP BOCHICCHIO - FACING DV CHARGES - IS ARRESTED FOR LARCENY

A DEADLY AMBUSH: EX-TROOPER KILLS WIFE, HIMSELF; INJURED LAWYER IN STABLE CONDITION
Hartford Courant
June 16, 2005
[Excerpts] [Retired 21 year Connecticut State Police veteran] Michael Bochicchio Jr. pulled into the city parking lot behind the courthouse shortly before 9 a.m. Wednesday. He parked his Dodge Caravan nose-out, so he could watch the lot entrance, and armed with a semiautomatic handgun, he waited... and about 30 minutes later, Bochicchio's wait was over. The former state trooper saw the black minivan carrying his wife, Donna, and her attorney, Julie Porzio, arrive.  As Porzio parked the van, Bochicchio walked across the pavement, opened the passenger's side door and opened fire... killing the mother of his two children and wounding the Waterbury lawyer... Waterbury lawyer William Brown had been gathering court files from his car... "I saw a man fall against a car. He lingered there for a while and eventually fell to the ground"...  Donna Bochicchio was a member of a prominent Torrington family that owns Seitz Corp., a manufacturing company. Donna Bochicchio still lived in the Harwinton home with their children... but her husband had moved out and was living on Torringford Street in Torrington.  After hiring and then firing several lawyers during the two-year divorce case because he didn't think they were aggressive enough, several sources said, Michael Bochicchio was representing himself... Bochicchio would ask witnesses questions that were not relevant to the proceedings or frequently go off on lengthy tangents. He acknowledged he had a gambling "addiction," and the more than $94,000 he lost... Michael Bochicchio comes from a family with a long law enforcement background. His father, Michael Bochicchio, was a decorated state police officer... His brother is a sergeant with the Waterbury Police Department, and his uncle was chief of detectives in Waterbury... A former state trooper bumped into Bochicchio about a week and a half ago, and Bochicchio told him he was going through a nasty divorce that was really taken a toll on him. "He was upset, all consumed by it," he said. "He looked disheveled out of sorts."... Bochicchio had complained to a neighbor in Hartford, Arthur Narvesen, that she was "bleeding him," taking a lot of his money...

HUNDREDS SAY FAREWELL TO TROOPER WHO KILLED HIMSELF IN ATTACK ON WIFE, LAWYER
Newsday
June 18, 2005
[Excerpts] As many as 600 mourners, including Mayor Michael J. Jarjura, said farewell Saturday to a retired state trooper who police say fatally shot himself after killing his estranged wife and seriously wounding her lawyer in an attack outside Middlesex Superior Court in Middletown last week. Friends, family and police officers lined up at a Waterbury funeral home to pay their respects to Michael Bochicchio Jr., who was represented in collages and enlarged photos, including a wedding picture of him and his wife, and photos of the couple's two children, a 12-year-old girl and 14-year-old boy who now live with their mother's parents Bochicchio, 47, fatally shot his estranged wife, Donna, 42, on Wednesday... Julie Porzio, Donna Bochicchio's lawyer, remains in Hartford Hospital... Bochicchio's state police shield was leaned against a black ceramic bible... John Paternostro, assistant director of the funeral service, said the large police turnout was not surprising because of Bochicchio's service in the state police. He retired after 21 years as a trooper. "The family has such a background of law enforcement, with the father and the uncles being policemen as well," he said...

WOMAN SLAIN OUTSIDE COURTHOUSE HAD A SENSE OF CERTAINTY ABOUT HER COMING DEMISE
The Hartford Courant
June 21, 2005
[Excerpts] Eight months ago, well into the second year of a contentious divorce, Donna Bochicchio penned a note on a small piece of paper: "I know he's going to kill me," her brother, Karl Seitz, said she wrote. "I just don't know when." To make it clear who she was talking about, Bochicchio wrote "Michael" in tiny letters above the word "he." Her growing fears were also evident in a telephone call she placed to the cemetery where her father was buried, asking if there was room enough for her to be buried in the same plot, Seitz said. In the days after Michael L. Bochicchio shot and killed his estranged wife last Wednesday in a parking lot near Superior Court in Middletown, some have wondered why the retired state trooper snapped... "We all knew she was fearful," said Greg Gaudet, her boss... "We never thought this would happen"... Seitz, Bochicchio's oldest brother, said he found the telltale note about her fears while going through his sister's personal effects after her death... "When she was here, she was trying to do the best she could and didn't want to lay it on us," he said. She did, however, confide in her niece, Heidi Barker, and a few close friends about her growing fear that her husband -- whom they described as controlling and possessive -- might try to kill her... When asked to respond to word of Donna Bochicchio fears, Bruce Bochicchio, Michael's brother, said he preferred to focus on the future. "Donna was a beautiful person, and she was my sister-in-law and I loved her," he said. "The challenge now is for all three victim families to work together for the benefit of [their two] children -- to do something they weren't able to do before"...

MOURNERS PAY RESPECTS 
Register Citizen
Karsten Strauss
06/21/2005
[Excerpts] In the aftermath of the murder of Donna Seitz Bochicchio, family and friends cope as best they can with the loss.
An estimated 500 people attended a wake for Bochicchio Monday evening... Donna Bochicchio had worked at the Seitz Corporation for almost 10 years in the 1980s... "How can anybody have any understanding of the situation? This is just a tragedy that I wouldn’t ever try to put sense to -- there just isn’t any... What happens in people’s lives that makes something like this come about? It’s above anything I know." Michael Bochicchio Jr. filed for divorce from Donna Bochicchio in 2003 and the two had been in legal battles involving money and custody of their two children...

HUNDREDS MOURN SLAIN TORRINGTON WOMAN
Republican-American
Michael Marie
June 22, 2005
[Excerpts] In the final months of her life, Donna Lynn Seitz Bochicchio carried in her purse a Bible passage clipped from one of the Rev. Michael Millum's sermons. The passage speaks of the suffering of Christ and his servants... "The Donna I came to know over the past two years was a person who felt trapped, at times tormented, who agonized over what the contentious divorce was doing to her children," he said. "And yet she was bearing up under that tremendous pressure with dignity and determination"...

A FEW EXCERPTS FROM DONNA'S JUNE 2005 GUEST BOOK:

...My daughter Ricki spent a fun filled Memorial Day weekend at the beach with the family and came home saying how nice Donna was to be with. Healing thoughts for you all...

...[K & M], We are So So Sorry. We have such wonderful memories. We will always love you both!!...

...Our hearts go out to Donna and her family. We were blessed to have met and become friends with Donna. She was one of the most caring and unselfish persons we have ever known and will ever know. Anytime I needed to talk to her she was always there. We miss you Donna and will never forget you. Our thoughts and prayers our with [K & M], two of the nicest kids I have ever me...

...[K & M], my heart goes out to the two of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. The two of you are such beautiful and special children. Know that you are surrounded by people who love you. I am so glad to have known both of you. God bless you both...

...I had the privilege of working with Donna. I will never forget her ready smile and laugh that rang out from one end of the office to the other. Her concern for others was obvious in the time she took to ask about your day; she really wanted to know how things were and could always say the right thing to make you feel better. I enjoyed her friendship and warmth and I know she will be sorely missed by all that took the time to get to know her. I pray that her children will always know how deeply she loved them and never forget their beautiful mother. God Bless you all in your sorrow and heal your hearts with time...

...Donna will be missed by so many of the people that she touched in her life. I have so many wonderful memories of her, as her co-worker at the State and her friend outside of work. I have been thinking about those memories alot these past few days. My heart goes out to [K & M], she adored her childern. I know that Donna's family will take good care of them and be there for them. God Bless all of you!...

...Donna will be sorely missed. She had a great laugh that echoed throughout our office bringing an instant smile to your face even though you didn't know what the fun was about. And she was always a bright smile on the most difficult days. As a mom, her devotion to her children was unwavering. Like a Mama bear, she worked hard to care for her 2 cubs and keep them safe and secure. Donna deserved to experience the joys and challenges her future had in store. She was the rock in her children's lives here on earth and I know she'll be their sunlight as they blossom in the years to come. God bless her family and all those who loved her. I will miss her...

...Our heartfelt sympathy to all of you. We can't even imagine what you are going thru. Our thoughts are with [K & M]. While this is such a tragedy, Bob and I have so many great memories of Donna at the beach. Her laugh, her smile and the way she cared for her children. You are so blessed to have had such a wonderful daughter and sister, as Bob and I were to have her as our summer beach friend. I once had a conversation with a friend about having kids and bringing them up in such a crazy world. My friend told me that it was about love. She said love heals. When you experience the level of love it puts you in touch with the place of true nourishment, for no matter how many people you have in your life, if you are missing the energy of love you will feel empty and alone. As difficult as this is, please try to hold in your hearts that death is a transition from this life to another, where there is no more pain and anguish. All the bitterness and disagreements will vanish and the only thing that lives forever is love. Bob and I will truly miss our friend Donna...
[police officer involved domestic violence oidv intimate partner violence ipv abuse law enforcement fear hx repeat public safety lethal fatality fatalities murder suicide connecticut state politics]