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Thursday, November 20, 2008

[MD] From the paralyzed fiance of Sgt Tora Lee Coates

"...I do not blame her, I miss her everyday. But I blame her dept. I had warned the dept. that she might have problems that they need address. She was so well liked by her superiors that they felt that the incident needed to be pushed under the carpet so not to tarnish and end her career..."

Previous entry:
January 28, 2008
[MD] Sgt. Tora Lee Coates shoots unnamed fiance, then kills herself - ...Police said 38-year-old Officer Tora Coates shot the man she lived with inside their Waldorf home at about 12:30 p.m. Sunday. Detectives believe she then turned the gun on herself. The 45-year-old man was able to call police despite being shot several times. He is listed in critical condition...
Learn from this - so the pain and loss of this tragedy are not all in vain.


I am the victim of this incident. I am recovering. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her. Just like that, I was homeless and alone, in rehab. I think about what a waste, she was a very beautiful person, inside and out. How this could have been prevented if the dept would have done their job. About 3 years ago, we had a fallen out in our relationship. She was telling me how she was going to take her life then. I called her supervisor and ask them to send someone over to check on her and told him what was going on. All the officer are afraid to get help because if they lose their guns, they lose their jobs, so he swept it under the carpet. Because of that, she is gone.

I should have been happily married by now in our beautiful home and with our little dog and a cat, enjoying life. But she is gone, I'm alone, missing her everyday.

Shame on her Dept., they took my wife and my life away from me.


Can I post your words as a separate, new blog entry?


Yes, please feel free to use my words as a separate, new blog entry. Anything that will get the word out that the Police dept. have to take care of there on.

I am a retired Marine, I spent 20 years in the Marine Corps and never got shot. I never expected to be shot by fiance.

Now, everyday I am reminded of the incident. Not just from the scares from the gun shots, but mainly from the wheel chair that I have to get in everyday. The incident has left me paralyzed from the bottom of my chest down.

I do not blame her, I miss her everyday. But I blame her dept. I had warned the dept. that she might have problems that they need address. She was so well liked by her superiors that they felt that the incident needed to be pushed under the carpet so not to tarnish and end her career.

The issue here is that the officers jobs have them dealing with the criminal element everyday, afterwards they have to go home and try to live a normal life. Their jobs can be stressful and sometime it is hard for them to deal with this kind of stress, but yet, there is no place for them to turn to. They are afraid that if they seek help, their careers are over.

The dept. need to have annual evaluation of their officer, a fitness for duty evaluation. Officers should have the right to receive and seek treatment without the fear of losing their jobs.

Like I had mention in my previous post, Tora's biggest fear was losing the ability to carry her gun because she felt that it would end her career.

This incident of mine should have never happened. My lawyer and I would appreciate your post and suggestion on how we can stop these things from happening again.

With respect to my fiance, please correct her name, it is Tora Lee Coates.

Thank you


  1. god bless those who protect a victim of child abuse and domestic violence,i am so saddened to find that the very ppl that protect us,are left unprotected themselves...i am so heart is with you

  2. Name: Tora Lee Coates

    Birth date: November 08, 1969
    Death date: January 27, 2008

    Sergeant Tora Lee Coates, 38

    Tora Lee Coates died on Sunday, January 27, 2008 in Waldorf, MD. Sergeant Coates, a native of Calvert County, Maryland was born in Prince Frederick, Maryland on November 8, 1969. She knew at an early age she wanted a career in law enforcement and set her objectives to accomplish that end. Upon graduation from Northern High School in 1987 she served in the Office of Norman L. Pritchard for three years at the Prince George's County Courthouse. Desiring a more operational career, she joined the Prince George's County Police Department in 1990. Tora Lee, as she was known to family, served the agency in various capacities, including District V, the Public Affairs Office and the Internal Affairs Division. Tora was promoted to the rank of Sergeant in 1999 and received numerous letters of commendation for outstanding police work. Sergeant Coates actively served the community and consistently received outstanding evaluations. Although a committed and dedicated employee, Tora loved to decorate and pamper her beloved pets: Chelsey, Damien and Buddy. She was an avid runner and thoroughly enjoyed eating Chesapeake Bay crabs. Finding Nemo was her absolute favorite movie and she was known to recite it in its entirety if requested. In 1992, Tora committed her life to Christ and fellowshipped at several churches while serving in a public safety capacity for several years. She mourned the loss of her brother Stacy, who preceded her death in 2003 and resumed fellowship with him on January 27, 2008...


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