Friday, September 24, 2010
From Anonymous: "To all who are trying to survive, here are my thoughts based upon my own experiences..."
Someone posted this as a comment here on the blog today but I think it should be a post, so here it is.
my ex from a small dept was abusive as well. I read the stories and my heart cringes.
These guys are experts at taking control and destroying you if you dont play by their rules.
Im one of the lucky ones. I got out alive. I still have some fear but I think its healthy and a reminder to never let my guard down because he is out there and they dont forget.
To all of us survivors..way to go! To all who are trying to survive here are my thoughts based upon my own experiences. I realize not all situations are the same. But if you see yourself here ..please get help now. Get away and get out now!
Document document document, dates times events... Write journals with dates and times, have best friends or people close to you that witness things do the same. Keep your journal at a friends house or in a very good hiding place.
Never EVER think a restraining order will keep you safe but go get one if you must!
You are smarter than you know. Tap into your smarts and use your brain. You are your biggest and best chance and what YOU know to be true about your ex and what he will do and how he will behave... so use your info to stay ahead and to stay alive. Do what you must do because in my experience the system worked against me for awhile and during that time I could have been dead. Cops stick together, police departments cover up, judges dont understand the problem and your friends and neighbors wont want to piss off your abusive cop spouse as long as he/she is driving around with a badge and a gun.
If you use your head, you will be lucky like me and survive the ordeal. I still check my back, I will never have the safe feeling I had before I met him but I have a good life now and thats worth everything and they dont want you to have that. So do what you must and stay alive!