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Monday, October 18, 2010

[IL] Nancy Mendoza (Rojo) lost her life divorcing officer... "Beloved mother... loving daughter... dear sister..."


...Police say [Cook County Sheriff's Department Jail Officer, Deputy] Alexander Rojo was walking with his estranged wife [Nancy Mendoza Rojo] in the Edgewater neighborhood when he shot her several times before sitting on the curb and shooting himself in the head... Nancy Rojo [had said] her husband slammed her against a basement door as she arrived home. He then cocked his gun, put the barrel to her cheek and announced, "I'm going to kill you"... as she lay on the floor in the fetal position... On Sept. 21, Nancy Rojo filed for divorce. Six days later, the two had their protection orders dismissed and agreed not to contact each other, and had their orders of protection dismissed. It's unclear why they were meeting on Monday afternoon - whether the encounter was arranged, or whether Alexander Rojo tracked his wife down...

IN HONOR AND REMEMBRANCE OF NANCY AND THE SACRIFICE OF HER LIFE: IF SOMEONE HAS THREATENED TO KILL YOU, BELIEVE THEM. FLEE. DO NOT GO FOR A WALK WITH THEM OR EVEN MEET THEM IN A PUBLIC PLACE.


MUCH LOVE GOES OUT TO THE GRIEVING FAMILIES, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS. MANY WILL BE HELPING TO PRAY YOU THROUGH THIS.


What was known, by who, for how long, and how did Cook County Sheriff's Department provide for Nancy's safety or intervene in Officer Rojo's obvious crisis? No one can bring Nancy or Alexander back now - so the multi-million dollar question that may save the lives of OTHERS is:

WHO KNEW WHAT WHEN AND WHAT DID THEY DO ABOUT WHAT THEY KNEW?

EXCERPTS FROM RECENT NEWS:

MAN WHO KILLED WOMAN, THEN HIMSELF WAS A DEPUTY
bnd.com
Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2010
[Excerpts] ...Police say 50-year-old Alexander Rojo was walking with his estranged wife Monday afternoon in the Edgewater neighborhood when he shot her several times before sitting on the curb and shooting himself in the head. The woman's name has not been released by authorities... Department spokesman Steve Patterson describes Rojo as popular with his co-workers, particularly with younger officers to whom he was a mentor. [Full article here]

CHICAGO MURDER-SUICIDE
huffingtonpost.com
10-13-10
[Excerpts] Three weeks ago, his wife filed for divorce. Three days ago, he finished his 14th straight Chicago marathon, in under six hours. The next day, in the Edgewater neighborhood on Chicago's far north side, Alexander Rojo was walking with his wife on a busy sidewalk in the middle of the afternoon. He pulled out a weapon, calmly shot her several times, sat down next to her body, and shot himself in the head. Rojo, 50, was a corrections officer at Cook County Jail, serving as a member of an elite unit that responds to jailhouse emergencies. He had been married to his wife Nancy for 23 years... On September 15 of this year, court records show that Nancy Rojo filed for an order of protection against her husband. She accused Alexander of attacking her, holding a gun to her head, and threatening to kill her. Six days later, she filed for divorce; after the filing, the two agreed not to see each other, and had their orders of protection dismissed. It's unclear why they were meeting on Monday afternoon -- whether the encounter was arranged, or whether Alexander Rojo tracked his wife down. Either way, there were ample witnesses to what happened next. [Full article here]


COUNTY JAIL OFFICER KILLED WIFE, HIMSELF: COPS
Chicago Sun-Times
October 13, 2010
[Excerpts] ...Rojo joined the Cook County Sheriff's Department in 1998. He was assigned to an elite unit that responds to emergencies at Cook County Jail. Department spokesman Steve Patterson described Rojo as popular with his co-workers, particularly with younger officers whom he mentored. [Full article here]


CORRECTIONAL OFFICER INVOLVED IN MURDER-SUICIDE: Rojo joined the department in 1998
nbcchicago.com
Oct 12, 2010
[Excerpts] ...Alexander Rojo, 50, of Plainfield, allegedly shot and killed his wife, who had recently filed for divorce, Monday afternoon, the Chicago Tribune reports. Friends said the couple had been on shaky ground since their son committed suicide a few years ago... [Full article here]


COUPLE IN MURDER-SUICIDE STRUGGLED AFTER SON'S SUICIDE, IN 2005: Shootings happened a month after divorce filings
ChicagoTribune.com
By William Lee [et al]
October 12, 2010
[Excerpts] ...The murder-suicide came less than a month after Rojo's wife, Nancy Rojo, 53, accused him of violently attacking her in their Plainfield home and threatening to kill her at gunpoint. She had filed for divorce six days later, court records show. The turn of events surprised Daniel Kennedy, Alexander Rojo's divorce lawyer, who said he seemed "pretty level-headed" when they talked several times in the last couple of weeks. Family members said Tuesday that the couple, married for 23 years, struggled after the 2005 suicide of their son, Carlos Rojo, 17... In recent weeks, their difficulties escalated. On Sept. 11, Nancy Rojo later alleged, her husband slammed her against a basement door as she arrived home. He then cocked his gun, put the barrel to her cheek and announced, "I'm going to kill you"... She alleged [he] put the barrel of his cocked gun to her head and threatened to kill her as she lay on the floor in the fetal position. Nancy Rojo said that after she spent three hours on the floor, her husband called police and claimed that she had tried to kill herself, according to the court records. Nancy Rojo filed for the order of protection on Sept. 15, two days after her husband had filed for a protection order against her, accusing his wife of trying to hit him. On Sept. 21, Nancy Rojo filed for divorce. Six days later, the two had their protection orders dismissed and agreed not to contact each other... "Just recently, she voiced that she feared for her life because (her husband) was acting crazy," [Nancy Rojo's brother] Felix Mendoza said. Tribune reporters Carlos Sadovi and Steve Schmadeke and freelance reporter Alice Fabbre contributed to this report... [Full article here]


COUPLE IN MURDER-SUICIDE STRUGGLED WITH DEATH OF SON
chicagobreakingnews.com
October 12, 2010
[Excerpts] Last month, Nancy Rojo told a judge she wanted an order of protection because her husband had thrown her to the floor, pointed a gun at her head and said he was going to kill her. But she withdrew her request less than two weeks later as her divorce from Alexander Rojo. a Cook County correctional officer, moved through the Will County courts. On Monday afternoon, the two were walking her dog toward the lake off Sheridan Road and Granville Avenue when Alexander Rojo suddenly opened fire, police say. Alexander Rojo fired three shots, then at least five more... Alexander Rojo then looked around, gun in hand, as if looking for others, the witness said. He then sat on the curb and shot himself... Even though the couple filed for divorce last month, the friend said he still loved his wife. Nancy Rojo's brother, Felix Mendoza, described her as serious, yet fun, saying she lived an ideal life until her son's suicide tore her world apart... On Sept. 15, Nancy Rojo filed a motion seeking an order of protection, describing how her estranged husband had attacked her. "He came at me like a raging bull and grabbed my top arms and swung me in the air like a rag doll," she stated. "He shoved his forearm into my throat and grabbed the front of my jacket and my shirt and violently pushed me against the basement door," she wrote. "Then he let me go, got his gun and cocked it very close to my face and put the barrel on my cheek and said, 'I'm going to kill you.' " After throwing her to the floor, Rojo called police and said she had tried to commit suicide, according to the motion. "I told the police and ambulance driver that I was not trying to commit suicide, that my husband beat me up"... "Obviously it's a surprise," said the woman's divorce attorney, Michael Calabrese. He declined to discuss the divorce at the request of the woman's family who asked for privacy... Rojo's apparent suicide and the fatal shooting of his estranged wife has stunned his colleagues. Counselors have been meeting with members of Rojo's unit and other jail personnel who had known Rojo. "Nobody who worked with him noticed anything out of the ordinary about him... There were no signs of anything or any distress." [Full article here]



OFFICER KILLS WIFE, THEN SELF IN GRIEF OVER SON'S SUICIDE
WAPI
October 14, 2010
[Excerpts] After the suicide of 17-year-old Carlos Rojo, life started to unravel, as his parents' 23-year marriage collapsed under the strain of grief and loss. The Plainville, Illinois couple had filed for divorce, and things, by all appearances, seemed amicable. But this week, as they were taking a walk with the dog in a neighborhood on Chicago's north side, Alexander Rojo shot his wife Nancy eight times, sat down on the curb and then shot himself... "Some who knew him through work knew he'd been experiencing some difficulties in his personal life, but nothing that caused any concern," said Steve Patterson, spokesman for the sheriff's office. "They never saw any signs of distress or thought he could do anything like this. They're all stunned." The Chicago Tribune reported Nancy Rojo had been in a deep depression and could not work, adding the couple had been plagued with financial problems, including two bankruptcies in 10 years. But family and friends said the overwhelming pain of their son's suicide in 2005 - he fatally shot himself - had been the main trigger... [Full article here]

OBITUARY:
NANCY MENDOZA ROJO
Chicago Tribune
Visit Guest Book
[Excerpts] Nancy Mendoza Rojo, age 53, [died] suddenly Monday, Oct. 11, 2010. Beloved mother... loving daughter... dear sister... many nieces, nephews and other relatives also survive.... [LINK]

WORDS:

...FROM NANCY'S FAMILY... the papers hail alexander rojo as a hero. Only because Nancy wanted to shield her daughter from the truth of what her father really was, she was silent! NOW ITS TIME TO SHOUT THE TRUTH.. POST WHAT A MAMA, HERO, MENTOR, HELPER AND FRIEND SHE WAS.. WE WILL LET YOU ALL TELL HER STORY BLOW UP FACEBOOK WITH THE TRUTH SILENT NO MORE!!!!!!...

...My dear cousin Nancy words cannot express my heartache at your sudden passing. I wake up each day hoping this is a horrible dream. I know you are now with your beloved Carlos and also am thinking about your beautiful daughter Alexandrea. My thoughts are with her during this difficult time and with Aunt Angie and all our other cousins. All our family is devastated of your passing. We all love you very much and will keep you in our hearts forever...

...Nancy,
I will always remember you with a smile because you always made me laugh. You were like a second mother to me when I was young and I have so many wonderful memories growing up just down the street from your family. The moments of fun and laughter are vivid in my mind, making pierogies, playing with the cats and all the St. Nicks basketball games. You always welcomed me into your home and that's always how I will remember you. So thoughtful, loving, and such a great Mom. You will be missed so so much. I love you and I love you Alexandrea... I am here for you whenever you need to talk to an old friend about the good memories. God Bless you Nancy...


My dear little sister Nancy, my heart hurts so much what do i do? ... I would talk to you about my son Tino and you would talk to me about Carlos NOW WHO DO I TALK TO ABOUT YOU? YOU CANT BE GONE... YOU SAID ONE DAY HE WOULD DO IT, I WISH I COULD OF SAID YOU WERE WRONG... Nancy say hello and kiss my son Tino for me till i get there. I love you, and will miss you so much...

...Nancy my friend, I will miss you forever. Forrest will miss you and Roxy coming to get him to play or visit... I willl miss our walks and talks and you helping me with everything. My family will miss you too, you were so kind to everyone you met. This neighborhood will never be the same. I will miss your hugs and kisses.
Until we meet again, my friend...


...I can't believe it....so hard to believe. I miss you as many others do too. We had so much fun whether it was hanging out at Rebecca's house, Margaritta Thursday or even at the FNR shows. I will never forget live band kareokee, thank you so much for being there that night when I was so nervous to get up and sing. No matter the situation, you were always a great person for providing encouragement to me and to others... I will see you soon. Muah!...

...Nancy you will be truly missed. I'll never forget the time we spent together working on my counter tops and painting my kitchen and laughing to the late hours..We just spoke about two weeks ago and now I can't believe you are gone...I love you dearly Nancy may you rest in peace....

...Rest in peace to these individuals...

...I miss and love you my uncle Alex!!...

...Yeah, so I am sitting here in California with the neice of the man who caused this mayhem today. Everyone is horrified and distraught and it's important to remember that NO ONE knows what goes on between a husband and a wife AND this couple lost their only son to suicide almost 5 years ago to the day. It's easy to comment on what we THINK goes on in other people's lives. At least two families were devasted today and I'm sorry for the people on the street that had to see it....

My sister is gone,i will see her no more. I pray that all would pray for my family so we wont act of the flesh and can forgive. How do iface the family of the man in a funeral that killed my little sister... TO ALEX ROJO THE MAN THAT KILLED MY SISTER, I DO PRAY THAT GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AND GIVE PEACE TO YOUR FAMILY. I DO PRAY IDOPRAY IDOPRAY... Nancy my little sister I will try to put away my pain and feel your peace. LOVE YOU MY NANCY...

...RIP Alex and Nancy. I'm sorry you couldn't hang on just a bit longer...

...My "Tiacomadre & Tio"... I love you both! and no matter what the situation was..it's heart shattering! Never did i think I would hear such news. Tia..you said you were coming back and there was no need to say goodbye! I beg this is all nightmare..but i realize i am awake and there is no need for a pinch. You both are now resting with Carlos..
Words & tears or any other emotion can not explain the agony our family is now dealing with.
Fly with angels & watch from above...


...The real tragedy is that two people had very serious problems for a long time and neither sought the proper help and kept their tramas to themselves until it got out of hand. It also seems that Will County dropped the ball, in that they didn't notify Cook County of the allegations in the divorce filings. Had there been an Order of Protection, Cook County would have been notified and certain procedures would have taken place. While true that allegations can come from anywhere and people have rights, proper notification would have at least opened some eyes and started a process that may have saved two lives...

..."Then he let me go, got his gun and cocked it very close to my face and put the barrel on my cheek and said, 'I'm going to kill you.'"
If this is said, believe it!...


...I Love and miss you Uncle Alex. Your family in California want you to know we will ALWAYS love you!!! Now you are with Carlos in HEAVEN!!!! ????? Now GOD has his hands wrapped around you so you can go 10-10!!! See you when I get there!!!...

...To my sis-in-law Nancy, having the privelige of knowing you was an honor. you were truly a beautiful peson and we will miss you much. R I P with Carlos We Love You...

...May God rejoin the officer and his wife with their son and find eternal peace...

...This was a couple who were going thru a divorce and the man decided to take their fate into his own hands...

...MAY BOTH R.I.P, I KNEW THE MAN PERSONALLY AND HE WAS NOT A HORRIBLE MAN, HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL PERSON BUT IF YOU DONT KNOW THE HISTORY YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT EITHER...

...Only God can judge my uncle!! NOT YOU or anyone else!! Just God!! I don't know who your god is, nor do I want to!! But my God is a loving and forgiving God!! Not a damning God!! Nobody knows my uncle better then his family. Uncle Alex, we will miss you, and always love you. You are at peace now with your son. Love your niece in California...

...We spoke to each other when our paths crossed.You were a cool cat. No one know's the pain that lies within. One Day WE Shall Speak Again! PEACE x's 2...

...I disagree with other posters that I dont have the right to judge... What I do know is that many people go thru divorces and it does not end up with both dead. There is no justification for killing someone else other than self-defense and killing yourself doesnt make it any better. I am so sick of the reasons why this stuff happens. There is no justifiable reason other than pure selfishness. Period...

...To my classmate Alex, it was a blessing to have known you and your wonderful family you guys embraced me and let me in your homes. I know that you your wife and son are in a beautiful garden with a running track next to it! I just wish people knew you before they assume anything. Until I see you again my friend!...

...To the paparazzi get it right, he wasn't a sheriff worker, he was a Cook County Sheriff working for the department of corrections!...


...someone needs to tell the news that this woman had a Name NANCY, stop calling her the wife, or un ID woman, she has a family which included a mother, sisters, brothers, neices, nephews etc. she was a scared women. i am from a police officers family and there are a lot of good police officers and there are some that start thinking they are above the law. lets stop the talk of what a good cop he was and start talking about why something was not done to help Nancy on all the time she told police and judges what was going on and how many protection orders she needed. let's also talk about how good Nancy was!!! my thoughts and prayers are with Nancy's family in there time if need may god help you find peace...

...So where is the poor dog?... was the dog killed also?...

...Our prayers and thoughts are with their surviving daughter and the family members that are left behind... No more tragedy for your family... you've suffered enough. God Bless You...

...I live in the building where this incident happened and Nancy was staying there with her sister because she was teriffied of her husband. On more than one occassion she mentioned that her husband may try to gain entry into the building by using a badge and the doormen were aware of the situation. I can judge and will...if he wanted to take his own life, that's fine, it's up to him, but he has no right to DECIDE to take someone else's life. What a scumbag... I hope he rots in hell for taking the life of this beautiful lady...

...The dog is staying with a neighbor in the building...

(Nancy's dog Roxy is now with loving family)

...Alex and Nancy will missed! Our little block in Plainfield IL will never be the same without them! My prayers go out to their daughter who has endured enough pain within the last 5 years that no one should ever have too! God bless their entire family, may God help you all find closure in such a tragic event...


..All of you who are even remotely contemplating suicide, I hope and pray you take just a minute and realize that there are people who really Do care about you and who will never be the same again if you commit suicide. Pick up the phone. Call for help. Even if it sounds silly - do it. The life you save may be your own - and someone elses' too. Just look at this couple. Had their son never committed suicide, they both might be here today....

...Alex drove from Plainfield to Edgewater to gun down Nancy. It has to do with a man who could not deal with a pending divorce and losing part of his pention. Nancy told everyone that would listen that he was going to kill her and nothing saved her. As for the blaming of this on the death of their only son,they also have a daughter. Who Nancy loved so very much. Nancy's biggest fear was leaving her daughter. She didn't want to have her daughter go through the pain of losing her parents and yet here we are. That is the real story...







[police officer involved domestic violence oidv intimate partner violence (ipv) abuse law enforcement public safety fatality fatalities lethal murder-suicide illinois state]

19 comments:

  1. I don't know who wrote that neither Nancy or Alex got professional help after the death of Carlos. I don't know about Alex but I do Know that Nancy sought and got professional help and was at peace at the time of her death with what happened to Carlos. She was very stable and strong at the time of her death. She was happy with her relationship with God and happy with her family and friends. The only problem she had at her death was with Alex. I know for a fact because she told me. The Joliet police that came to the house treated her poorly,and the Will County courts messed up too. Cook county should monitor your officers on a regular basis to see if they are stable you dropped the ball on this one yourselves.

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  2. I am hoping Nancy's name was left out of papers for her daughter's sake. Yes, a man is loved by his family but that does not excuse the behavior he forced upon me and many others who witnessed this event. My first thought was the dog and I ran down 10 flights to get her away from there. Just so you know they were not walking together or Roxy would not have been tied up. Rest with God and your son Nancy and may he bless your daughter abundantly. I did not know you but did see you around with Roxy and those meetings are what I now have to carry you in "my heart" stranger that you were.

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  3. PLEASE... when you are emotional, talk to a professional, get help, go to a hospital, or at least commit to waiting 3 days before taking ANY action so that you make decision with a clear head and not an emotional one. This is so very very sad, and such a tragic situation because it appears they were both good people but were dealing with too much to handle after losing their son. Had their son asked for help, perhaps he would not have killed himself. Had they asked for help after his death, perhaps their marriage would not have failed. Had the police officer swallowed his "cop" pride and quietly asked a professional for help, perhaps these two would have lived long and happy lives. Sadly, their daughter will live with all 3 deaths, and all the social stigma, whispers, and lack of eye contact thta goes with being a family member of a suicide... and she may question her own mental stabiliy, for the rest of her life. One thing is for certain, she knows how precious good mental health is, and how precious life is. God bless her.

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  4. I agree with the above comment, get help if you even are having thoughts of suicide. When my husband left me and our 2 young babies, I thought my world was over, I never knew what depression was. The pain was unbearable at times, especially in the night, when the kids had finally fallen asleep and I was alone. I would cry myself to sleep and only dream of escaping this painful episode in my life. I had thoughts of how could I and my babies leave this world in a painless way, my thoughts were getting worse. Let me explain. My husband chose a lifestyle of drinking and doing drugs, something I had not grown up with. We met in church and were so in love with God and just wanted to serve Him and serve the people that came into our lives. A few years after our marriage, he had surgery and had to be out of work for a few months. The bills started to pile up, we were both so discouraged, but I held on to my faith, that's all I had. My husband started to go out with some friends after he went back to work and of course he started to drink his problems away. Pretty soon he started to smoke marijauna, that wasn't enough so he started to pop some pills, that still wasn't enough so now he started snorting cocaine, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than cocaine in his life he then started to deal and sell drugs. To make a long story short, the beatings started, he turned into a crazed and evil person. He became so violent when he would come home in the early morning hours and start his threats, before you judge me, continue to read on...his threats now became real. The worst now had happened, I ended up in the ER with a crooked nose from the blow to my face, I remember seeing stars when he struck me in my head several times. You may be saying why didn't I leave, well I wasn't stupid, I was afraid, afraid to tell my family, I did not want my husband to leave us, I just wanted him to get help for his additions, well he didn't want help. I continued to hope and now as I continued to not tell anyone what was going on behind closed doors, the beatings only got worst, the last straw for me came when my husband took a butcher knife from the kitchen and came after me and said he was going to kill me, looking back I believe he was possessed by the devil, there is a bible verse that says, "the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. By the grace of God I am alive today, as I read this tragic story of how Nancy died, it brought back numerous bad memories of my life living for 6 years with an abusive husband, he divorced me and has been out of our children's lives for over 20 years, he missed out on so many beautiful memories. Suicidal thoughts were in my mind throughout those abusive years, but thank God for my family and friends who helped me see a way out and that someday it would get better. I now have dedicated my life to helping women who are in abusive situations. It was the knife to my throat that evil night when he said, I will kill you" that was when I called out to God, please God I said, "help me get me out of here" and God sure did hear my cry, I was able to run out of the apartment and get into my car and it was a police officer friend and his wife that came to rescue me and my little children that horrible night. He told me to get out of the house because my husband's threats were to be taken serious. I better end now, but please remember that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let us honor our loved ones who were killed in a violent manner related to domestic violence. Let's not be silent, it could be one of your family members or a close friend who needs some kind of intervention before it's too late. Nancy, I know you and your beloved son Carlos are together again. I will be there for your Hannah and your family. A friend who cares.

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  5. AFTER ALEX SHOT AND KILLED MY SISTER HE HAD JUST ENOUGH LOVE IN HIM TO TIE MY SISTERS LITTLE DOG TO A POLE SO SHE WONT RUN INTO THE STREET..THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR THE MEN IN BLUE...DEE

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  6. I loved Alex dearly, I love Alexandrea, I had wonderful times with Nancy as our children grew up. Alex did seek counseling after Carlos passed away. He was in a group support. Please do not talk bad about him, we do not know what really goes on between a man and a woman behind closed doors. Nancy did move back with Alex. She had left for 1 1/2 years. She returned. Why do people only want to tell one side? Please be very careful....there are ALWAYS TO SIDES TO A STORY. God has taken Nancy and Alex to Heaven.

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  7. Alex committed murder, period. There are not two sides to that.

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  8. After many years of my sister's mental and physical abuse,and this i know to be true cause my sisters and i painfully went through this with her, she said"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH TIME TO LIVE",she wrote on her facebook," I AM COUGAR,HEAR ME ROAR!!!!! I WILL NOT LET ANYBODY GET ME DOWN. I WILL WALK OUT WITH DIGNATY, FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, FIGHT FOR JUSTICE N GET MY HAPPINESS BACK WHERE IT BELONGS.I AM STRONG WOMAN AND CONTINUE TO B STRONG. YOU WILL NEVER BRING ME DOWN AGAIN. I WAS BLIND SIDED FOR A MINUTE.YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH TO STOP YOU FROM BAD ACTIONS."from NANCY MENDOZA (Rojo)....and her last months were very happy with her daughter Hanna and her little dog Roxy.Her voice will be heard for others just like hers.

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  9. A PERSON WITH A TOXIC HEART TRIED TO POST HERE TODAY.

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  10. To the Men In Blue ,Please try to help your partner,you know when there in pain.You have been with them for years,and you should know there family too.You have no reason to say "I DIDENT KNOW". I got a call from my neice,she said "Aunt Dee I have a cold and went home to see my mom and she was not here, she always takes care of me and my cold. SO, MR. MAN IN BLUE ,CAN YOU FEEL YOUR PARTNERS DAUGHTERS PAIN.
    THIS DIDENT HAVE TO HAPPEN. PS.She is loved from California to Chicago to Texas she is LOVED AND WILL BE.

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  11. It's 2 months today. I think of you everyday. I miss you like crazy Tiacomadre! I wish this didnt happen but it did. I'm happy you are feeling better and never have to worry anymore. I love you and pray to see you again someday. There is so much I want to tell you and show you.
    --Fly with Angels & Watch from Above.

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  12. I tell my neice amber ,who holds on to her aunt like she is still here. LET HER GO YOU HAVE TO GO ON.SHE IS IN A BETTER PLACE.WHAT A HYPOCRITE I AM.The silent tears are the worse.I miss her so.I WANT TO PULL HER LONG HAIR, TAKE HER OUT FOR A DRINK, TALK TO HER ABOUT MY SON IN HEAVEN, TALK TO HER ABOUT HER SON IN HEAVEN, TELL HER HOW CUTE THE LITTLE DOGS ARE HER DAUGHTER JUST GOT.TELL HER HER DAUGHTER STILL NEEDS HER SO SO MUCH.I WANT HER HERE WITH ME NOW.....PLEASE IF YOU THINK YOUR HUSBAND WILL DO SOMETHING TO YOU , HE WILL PLEASE , PLEASE TRY TO LEAVE. THANK YOU BLUE WALL FOR LETTING ME CRY WITH YOU.{ A NANCY MOMENT.}

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  13. Dee Dee your love is beautiful and painful. When Nancy was stolen from your family and the others that love her in such a violent way it makes "letting go" near impossible. In time your heart will find a way to carry the sorrow without falling down every few steps. It's a heavy heavy weight. God is with you and will always lift you. So fall down whenever you can't stand up. It's okay. Cry. Shout. Warn others. Obey your heart and hold nothing in.

    Loving you,
    Cloud

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    Replies
    1. Thank You My Friend, It's years later and the Pain is still like no other, I read my facebook and see another case of Murder -Suicide and it hurts as fresh as the day. Along with my pain i feel the families of others.I still pray Change is on the way .I will keep the memory of Nancy and Rojo and I going to dinner and laughing at his crazy jokes. No matter what ,this is what i will remember . I Love them both. And Rojo no jokes in heaven Please they will kick you out. Love and Miss you both.

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    2. Your heart and the hearts of your family set the standard and shine the light for others. Always amazing and the proof of what love looks like.

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  14. Yesterday was 4 months & I swore to myself I'd let you be but this just seems impossible. I know I'm living happily but there is that hole in my heart that can not be sealed. Losing you was so much more than a nightmare & I wish there could be a way to turn a nightmare into a happily ever after dream. I can wish so many things but not one of those wishes will ever bring you back. Im thankful for the days I am able to recieve comfort & happiness. I miss you ohh so dearly & like I always say..there are not enough words or emotions to explain or show how much the family & I miss you. Im exhausted from the nights I cry when Im alone & Im becoming impatient to see you again. Never did I think grieving would be this hard/tough. I love you Tiacomadre. I'm always remembering our conversations & when i do i swear I zone out and hear your voice..its drives me crazy woman. STOP IT! :P "Heyy deen or Heyy loooove..what are you doing".
    Ohh gosh aunt nancy i've had enough of this already. stop bugging me. lol. I'll see you in higher places. once again..love you!

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  15. It's 2am as I visit this page again. Brings the sad memory of that day you left this crazy world & became an angel. Every tear I shed has a smile, laugh, but most of all sadness. Im able to have good days now but I still miss you like hell. Your laugh still takes over my heart & your face on my wall still reminds me of the crazy great person you were. Having Hanna here now helps me deal with you not being present. She carries your laugh & not all but some features. Part of you resides in her. She's doing really good here in Texas. & ohh yes..we've made many memories & lots of laughter already. :)
    You're still missed. Everyday. Ily Tiacomadre.

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  16. Today is October 10 and tomorrow is your one year as an angel. I still cry at times but today is.the worst because I know what tomorrow is. I miss you & so tired of missing you. One year and it still.feels like it was yesterday. I have no.other emotion but sadness and tears when you come to.mind.

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