The Guy in the Glass, by Dale Wimbrow

The Guy in the Glass

by Dale Wimbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Whose judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

[WA] 3 years since police chief murder-suicide, our DV Awareness Day, & CJFJC success

Today is three years to-the-day after Tacoma Police Chief David Brame fatally shot his wife Crystal and himself in a parking lot with their children running to the bloody scene, screaming for passer-by's to help mommy. No one could help her.

This morning I went to the News Tribune looking for the announcement to Tacoma citizens that today is Officially Tacoma's "Domestic Violence Awareness Day" - an official city action which was the first item on the City Council Agenda of last night's Tacoma meeting.

Enactment of such a day was a part of City of Tacoma's settlement agreement of the wrongful death lawsuit filed by Crystal's family:

City, family settle Brame lawsuit
$12 million deal honors Crystal, protects public disclosure
The News Tribune
Sean Robinson & Jason Hagey;
September 14th, 2005
EXCERPT:
"...The City of Tacoma has agreed to settle the long-running lawsuit by the family of Crystal Judson Brame, who was killed by her husband, Police Chief David Brame, in 2003. Among settlement terms... Name the planned city-county domestic violence center for Crystal Judson; proclaim April 26 Domestic Violence Awareness Day..."

The City officially kept their promise. I thought THAT would be news, but it wasn't there.

While still online at the News Tribune I searched for "brame" anything on their website from today and found a paid for loving obituary for former Police Chief David Brame from his family, with a link to a guestbook that - at least at the time - had no entries.

I left a nice message that has to be reviewed for suitablity - and continued my search for any word at all that today is Domestic Violence Awareness Day in the City of Tacoma.

I went to the City of Tacoma website's NewsRoom and there was no mention of it.

I went to the City of Tacoma News Releases page and there was nothing.

I went to the City of Tacoma DOMESTIC VIOLENCE page, thinking "Surely."

But it wasn't there.

I went to a Google News search and it said 'Your search did not match any documents."

I decided to go online and transcribe the enactment from the video of the council meeting myself, but then our local independent internet publisher John Hathaway of the New Takhoman came through - sending his mailing list part of what I was looking for.

Mayor Baarsma declares April 26 Domestic Violence Awareness Day

WHEREAS, domestic violence occurs in every culture, country and age group and affects people from all socioeconomic, educational and religious backgrounds; and

WHEREAS, at the City Council meeting on September 13, 2005, the City Council proclaimed April 26 of each year as Domestic Violence Awareness Day in Tacoma; and

WHEREAS, the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center, which opened on December 12, 2005 is funded by Pierce County, the City of Tacoma and is supported by other jurisdictions; and

WHEREAS, the Center is operated jointly by Pierce County and the City of Tacoma and is modeled after a San Diego program that features a one-stop concept which brings together two groups of partners, community and non-governmental and criminal justice; and

WHEREAS, the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center serves all residents throughout Pierce County with services that are free and include victim advocacy, safety planning, electronic filing for temporary protection orders, criminal and civil legal services, housing, emergency assistance and chaplaincy services to victims of domestic violence; and

WHEREAS, the City of Tacoma recognizes that domestic violence is everyone’s responsibility,

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BILL BAARSMA, Mayor of the City of Tacoma, on behalf of the City Council, do hereby proclaim April 26, 2006 as DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS DAY in the City of Tacoma, and we encourage all citizens to join with us in this observance.
(THANK YOU John Hathaway!)

Now there was still one important part missing of last night. Eileen OBrien. I typed it out so the good news can be shared:


EILEEN OBRIEN AT THE PODIUM of City Council, April 25, 2006

(Video timestamp 00:03:42)

"I'm Eileen Obrien and I'm here to represent the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center tonight. I want to thank you for the proclamation. And also it may be important for the council to be aware that up until late last week, since the center's been open, that it has had 440 visits by 311 individuals. In addition to that, just today alone, there were 9 individuals that came for services. So the center is up and running. It's running well. I brought pamphlets if you haven't seen one yet, so that you can see the pamplets that we're getting out, and the intent is that there will be more public awareness, more information going out to the public to make them aware that The Center is available and that they're there to serve domestic violence victims.
Thank you."

Mayor Baarsma asks for applause for the good work of the center, there's applause, and the mayor can be heard softly saying to her as she got the proclamation from him, "Thank you so much."

To see the part of the council that addressed this last night:

1.) Click this link to City Council meetings online.
2.) There you will see a "CLICK HERE" link. Click it.
3. ) There, you will see a link, "April 25, 2006 Council Meeting." Click it
4.) On that page, you will see that the first listed item on the Agenda is "Proclamations" - and the first listed Proclamation is "Crystal Judson Family Justice Center." Click that.

===================================================

Notes:

-- Online city council meetings stay available for a number of weeks and then are gone

-- News Tribune, ARE YOU SLEEPING? Please take every opportunity to point out the new domestic violence center and their services. Your article laying on any counter, anywhere could lead to life. Today was a newsworthy missed opportunity - and what Eileen OBrien reported was newsworthy food for the community SOUL. No? Yes? Anybody? Mic check. Testing... 1, 2, 3...

-- It appears my message to David Brame's guestbook may not be approved since a couple of messages have been approved and shown up. Maybe they are still deciding. I have some version of it on my clipboard, so it read something like this:

"To the Family of David Brame,

I am very sorry for your loss and all the pain that has come to you. Everybody wishes with you and Crystal's family that the hands of time could be turned back. As a community we will work very hard trying to ensure that a loss this horrendous and tragic never happens again. Through the two lives lost, the prayer, hope, and goal is that it will not be in vain. May we as a community make the deep pain of your and Crystal's family mean life for others."

I signed my real name and left my email addy.

The Guestbook link if you would like to leave a message for his family:
http://www.legacy.com/tribnet/Guestbook.asp?PersonID=17546487


-- Passing along what I got in an email today:

TO ALL,

THIS PROCLAMATION WILL BE DONE EVERY YEAR FROM NOW UNTIL THERE IS NO LONGER A CITY OF TACOMA, WHICH WONT HAPPEN. THIS YEARLY PROCLAMATION WAS A KEY ISSUE IN OUR NON-MONETARY DEMANDS AND SETTLEMENT WITH THE CITY OF TACOMA TO KEEP CRYSTALS NAME ALIVE AND TO REMIND ALL IN CITY GOVERNMENT AND THE GREATER TACOMA AREA HOW DEADLY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS. ( 3 YEARS AGO TODAY, APRIL 26TH, SHE WAS SHOT/MURDERED )
CITY OFFICIALS HAD SAID EARLY ON THAT " DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BETWEEN CRYSTAL AND DAVID WAS A PRIVATE MATTER".

LET ME RE-ASSURE YOU THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT A PRIVATE MATTER, AND IT IS A MOST TERRIBLE CRIME THAT CAN AND WILL LEAD TO DEATH IF NOT ACTED UPON QUICKLY AND WITH THE RIGHT TYPES OF PROFFESIONAL HELP. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CRIME AND NEEDS TO BE REPORTED IF YOU SEE OR HEAR OF IT.

I CONTINUE MY QUEST TO DO ALL I CAN TO MAKE THE COMMUNITY,THE STATE AND OUR FEDERAL GOV'T AWARE OF THE RESPONSBILITIES WE ALL HAVE IN STOPPING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

DON'T MEAN TO PREACH, BUT WE MADE A PROMISE TO OUR BELOVED DAUGHTER TO DO WHAT WE CAN.

LUV TO ALL,

LANE & PJ. ( JUDSON )

[PA] Officer Dennis is saying that his wife killed herself, but...

Here we go.
Games on top of travesty.
Some days I weary.
Today Pennsylvania Dallas Township Police Officer Jeffrey Dennis says he didn't kill his wife Carli - she shot herself in the head (despite telling folks he was going to stage her suicide), and earlier today Utah ex-Lehi SWAT Officer Henderson hung himself in his jail cell (after shooting at his wife, her boyfriend, and the officers who responded). Over in Indiana yesterday convicted Charles Boney, the guy who helped convicted Trooper Camm kill his wife and children, was presenting to the court that he wants a do-over, and yesterday Officer Moray in Yonkers shot his wife and himself. Monday, it was CBS Producer - now author of Tacoma Confidential Paul LaRosa, having an article internet-published that asserts (for the first time DIRECTLY) that our police chief here in Tacoma didn't commit murder-suicide on his wife Crystal, but that it was SHE who caused the gun to go off twice, accidently. He says that makes

more sense.

I need a walk in the woods.

From the news, on Officer Dennis :

...A district judge ruled Thursday there is enough evidence to send the case against a Luzerne County police officer to trial. Jeffrey Dennis, a Dallas Township police officer, is charged with homicide in the shooting death of his wife, Carli... Dennis claims his wife shot herself... the victim's best friend - said after the shooting, Dennis told her Carli died because of what she did to him... Another witness... said Dennis threatened to shoot her and make it look like she did it last summer...
(Source: Officer to Stand Trial for Wife's Death, WNEP, April 20, 2006 - Ryan Leckey)
[police officer involved domestic violence oidv intimate partner violence (IPV) abuse law enforcement public safety fatality fatalities murder fake staged suicide pennsylvania state]

[TN] Deputy Brefini's domestic-violence-on-steroids plea bargain.

Tennessee
April 2006
U.S. Marine Corps reservist, Knox County Deputy Eric Brefini – who admits he was on steroids - got mad after his wife went shopping, told her she spent too much money, grabbed her around her throat (Held her? Choked her?), and amongst whatever else happened that day last month, wouldn’t let her leave the house. A few days later he took her cel phone & car keys to keep her again from leaving. His wife says that he assaulted her on several different occasions, threatened to kill her, and that his holding her in the house lasted for nine hours. (They had to be long hours if someone has told you that they will or could kill you.) He was arrested, went to jail under an order that he be held for “a minimum of 12 hours,” a $30,000 bond was set – then slashed by a special judge (he knew the regular ones) in a “specially-called hearing” to $5,000. The bond was slashed even though he avoided revealing in the paperwork how much he makes. It was slashed even though the prosecuting attorney brought it to the court’s attention concern that Brefini had been “acting strangely,” the impact of steroids, and that Deputy Brefini was on a hunger strike. (Brefini denied it was a hunger strike but did admit he hadn’t eaten in eight days.) Still pulling a full check, Brefini said he didn't have enough money for an attorney, so a court-appointed attorney was assigned him for a $50.00 fee. (Kind of goes back to telling his wife she spends too much money doesn’t it?) Yesterday in exchange for having the false imprisonment charge dropped he pled guilty to the domestic assault charge. He got 11 months 29 days, but you know how it is – he’ll serve that as probation with anger management and drug abuse classes.

May all be safe.

I PROMISED I WOULD NEVER FORGET AUSTIN

APD Cop kills son, then self
WALB
September 21, 2004
[GA] Albany, Georgia -- A little after four Tuesday afternoon Albany Police Corporal Andrew Hayslip and his ex-girlfriend argued outside a Dougherty County Extended Day School building on South Monroe Street. Hayslip opened fire. He killed his young son and wounded the child's mother and then killed himself. Albany Police surrounded the old school building, rushing to a shooting. They discovered it was one of their own... Hayslip was a 15 year veteran of the force, but was arrested March 31, 2003 for domestic violence. He was charged with terroristic threats, Battery, and cruelty to children. Hayslip went through pre-trial intervention, and was allowed to continue working as a patrol officer...

See comments section.

"...Andrew and Austin Hayslip are dead now, but maybe something can be salvaged from two wasted lives. Maybe we can look closer at the people we care about, and see the things we may not want to see. Maybe someone can have the courage to stand up, to help someone they love get the help they need..."
(source: Look closely at what's in the mirror, By Mark Passwaters of The Navasota Examiner on 9/29/04)

  ((( x )))  here is the spot of my deleted poem

written after gazing for a long time into the picture of Austin. 

It turned into a prayer, 

and became really private between God and me. 

I'm smiling; wiping the tears.

My mind has become a living memorial.

It's keeping everybody,

singularly and sacredly remembered,

celebrated and mourned.

Not sad.

More "holy."

Never heavier

than God's grace will allow,

or strengthen me,

to carry.

Their memory

and my outrage -

a soft

peace-of-God-inside-kind-of-outrage

and deliberate remembering of the loss -

has swollen my river

until 

I can't fathom holding

any more love

than this.

Each time

Note: I followed this shooting when it happened and posted on it at the time on a yahoo oidv group. I'm moving Austin's murder to this blog - because I really won't ever forget.

 [police officer involved domestic violence oidv intimate partner violence ipv abuse law enforcement public safety lethal child children child abuse teflon hx repeated fatality fatalities murder-suicide familicide georgia state politics]

CBS Producer Paul LaRosa takes on female personas to promote his book?

CBS Producer, now author, Paul LaRosa has been promoting his book about a murder-suicide that happened in my home town Tacoma, where our Police Chief David Brame repeatedly threatened, and finally did commit murder suicide on his wife, Crystal. Mr. LaRosa however believes that the shooting was triggered by Crystal herself. Both shots. According to Mr. LaRosa that makes more sense. According to me, he has completely misrepresented the facts in order to finally get a book published (after several failed attempts) and at the same time appease the part of himself that disdains men always getting blamed for everything.

If you read the book, the inference is more subtle, but I have transcribed his promo appearances where he speaks what's really in that mind much more clearly. He says that Crystal "probably exaggerated" the threats in her divorce papers... she probably didn't "REALLY think" that David would kill her..." and, "If she was really so afraid of him, why did she...?"

I'm prone to start explaining it all here, but if it interests you, the whole dialogue between Mr. LaRosa and myself - including my discovering him to be deceptively using female identities on the internet to promote his own book, is on the Court TV discussion thread "Tacoma Confidential by Paul LaRosa".

I highly recommend you come see for yourself how he responds to me. You will be surprised. But there's over a hundred posts there, and though personally I think it's ALL very interesting :) if you want to get right to seeing if it's true about Mr. LaRosa violating the ethics of his own journalistic profession by deceptively using female identities to soften up females to his ideas - and ultimately for his own profit, go here, and here in the thread. And if you think it just can't be true, check out his replies! Amazing.

Someone there, amazed, wrote to Mr. LaRosa, "I for the life of me can not understand the lies and deceitful ways that SOME writers exhibit while getting information and promoting their books. My question to you is why? Why go to those lengths?"

Mr. LaRosa actually offers a reason - "...first time authors get no money for publicity so must try different methods."

I think in total, what he is doing is awful. He uses the same deceptive means to put the book toGETHer as he does to promote it. It's a matter of character. (SUE ME!!!!)

In a recent post there I wrote:

"...She wasn't believed when she was alive,
and there is a handful of you
that don't believe her even now..."

(How dead does she have to be before he can hear?)

This isn't he-said, she-said. I know this case. Mr. LaRosa has twisted truth to make his belief appear plausible - leaving OUT the parts of the investigation that don't support the hook for his book, and treating other unproven things as if they are fact, then building on them. His response is "Read the book, decide for yourselves" - but from me to you - the book only gives the reader what Mr. LaRosa wants the reader to see.

Currently the Court TV forum board is not taking posts, so we are at a standstill, but hopefully after Easter week they will revive the board. I was just setting up to show what is not true in "Tacoma Confidential" by taking a closer look at the statements of the "eyewitness" he uses to push his ideas. He is going to say I'm biased and on the take - but as he would say "Let the reader decide."

This is a picture of the button on his website that you have to press to buy his book:

'Nuff $aid.

[MA] K9 Officer Skop accused of assault & threats - agitating his K9 to threaten girlfriend

Massachusetts
April 2006
In January it took Enfield K9 Officer Skop a quarter of million dollars bail to get out after a witnessed assault on his EMS girlfriend right at the police station. Today's news states that he is also accused of using his K9 between September & December last year to threatn his girlfriend.
Officer Skop HAS been fired, and is charged with assault and battery, threatening to commit a crime and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon - a police dog

[NY] Retired NYPD Jamison shot by NYPD wife

Originally uploaded by Cloud Writer.

New York
April 2006
Todd Jamison retired from the NYPD last year and moved out of the home he shared with his NYPD Officer wife, Alison Jamison recently - and in with his mother. His wife was mad, they say, because he was having an affair, has affairs, yada yada - and because she says she was abused.

So she shot him up.

Tried as hard as she could to kill him and scare him at the same time.

Alison's attorney says: "Her husband began a series of humiliating, degrading and debilitating acts, including acts of physical terrorism, that left her emotionally and psychologically sick..."

But Alison, we don't rent a car, stalk; hunt our man down, cross into oncoming traffic, block him in with our car, shoot him up on one side, make a u-turn, and come back to shoot him up some MORE. Seems you've canceled out your own victim-song somewhere there between bullets two and eight.

You know. You're a cop. No excuse. Being female isn't pulling my sympathy string sister.

You knew every alternative.

But this isn't really about Alison. It's really about the NYPD, because a woman has stepped forward to say that Officer Allison Jamison tried to run her down amid another relationship rage too - and that it was never dealt with criminally within the department:

"...Suhey said that after she reported the incident to the NYPD, her fiancé, whom she broke up with, was transferred from the 120th Precinct in Staten Island to Manhattan while Spicer-Jamison, 42, was banished to Brooklyn's 70th Precinct..."

Gotta deal with it now though, right NYPD?
Seems when you realize you have a potential killer on the force - anyone that OUT OF CONTROL - that it should be HANDLED, not minimized and swept away. You let officers like that arrest citizens? You leave yourself open to the fallout - like now - from such uncontrolled armed anger?
Don't bother with trying to redeem your image. Change your policies instead. Make domestic crimes involving officers crimes rather than in-house complications. Then follow through. You AND your prosecutors. Do what you represent that you do. Uphold the laws.
I believe the best love for your law enforcement comrades is tough love. If Allison was held accountable the first time, maybe she wouldn't be sitting in a psychiatric hospital now, being held on attempted murder, assault in the second degree and criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree.

Todd? He's in a medically induced coma at Brookdale Hospital with several bullets still inside of his body. The papers are having a blast pointing out his philandering - but I could care less. (Would they do that to a bullet-riddled female I wonder?) All those bullets, made me not care what Todd did first. Maybe you MEN need to pay attention - take notes - don't assume, but as far as my interest in how officer involved dv is handled, if Alison was a man nobody would listen to "she hurt me first" in a shooting rampage like this. So I'm not listening now.
Equal rights. Equal disgust.
It was just wrong.
We can't live like that.

I know what it's like. Todd sounds exactly my own ex. At one point of infidelities it was me who made sure the guns were out of the house before he got home- for his safety and my future. I managed myself and sabotaged my access to weapons - and the expectation has to be that we all do. Had I seen I couldn't stop myself I would have found another method of intervention.

If we are defending ourselves, sometimes yes. When we are chasing them down or setting them up. No.
[rant female perp perpetrator cop on cop police officer involved domestic violence oidv intimate partner violence ipv abuse law enforcement public safety lethal attempted murder new york state politics]

[NV] DV call to Officer Shultz's home ends with arrest for drugs, resignation

April 13, 2006
Nevada
You can't be probed by internal investigations if you don't work for the police department anymore, right? Seems that's the escape hatch. You perpetrate, quit, then get hired on as an officer elsewhere - and the new agency (far too often) purposely doesn't ask the old agency too many questions. The old agency, likewise, doesn't volunteer too much. It's the way it's put together in most places.
Not all, but most.
The photo is of Las Vegas Metro Police Officer "Mike Shultz" according to the article I read, but the picture had an alternate spelling (Schultz - with a "c"). It was only a few sentences. So I scrubbed the internet and still - couldn't find another word.
Just Mike (presuming that's Michael) slipping quietly out the back door to most likely pop up elsewhere.
The police, the article says were called to his house on a domestic violence call, but he was arrested for drug possession, and resigned.
Now if the charges are quietly dropped...
which is often, too often,
the case,
I'll be watching.
If he pops up, I'll bang my pots and pans in the town square.
Nobody listens, but I'll be there.

[VT] 275lb Trooper Lay's 100lb girlfriend has recanted her allegations.

April 2006
Vermont

The hundred pound woman who last October said it was hard to come forward because of her "extreme fear" - was brought into notice by her mother who made a report fearing for her daughter - the one that Vermont State Trooper David Lay is accused of punching around, slapping and choking to unconsciousness - has recanted. While he was contracted to train security forces in Iraq she admitted to him she had seen other men That would be the same woman who had said last October that he took her out to a building to kill her, held her face in a pillow for two minutes, threatened her life on other occasions, according to her, described how he'd dispose of the body, smashed her head into the car windows, and who he is charged with (felony) raping.
The attorney wants the charge drops. Two lives dangle.

[NY] Officer Valentine's revenge = 197 cyberstalking count indictment, including 21 felonies

April 2006
New York

Suffolk Police Officer Michael Valentine didn't like being dumped from his 6-week relationship with a woman he met online, so he hacked her account, and using his police precinct and personal computers wreaked havoc on her life. He has a 197-count indictment - including 21 felony charges.

New York Post today:
...When the rejected Romeo realized he was under investigation, he used his victim's e-mail account to send himself threatening e-mails - making them appear to be from her - and then filed a "false" criminal complaint against her, officials said...

And Newsday:
..."This is cyber terrorism," said Suffolk Police Commissioner Richard Dormer, adding that the woman told investigators she feared for her life. "The men and women of the department are being shamed today. Their badge has been tarnished."...

[WV] Ex Chief Dunn pleads guilty. Daughter-rape came to light during dv call to his home.

April 2006
Frank Dunn (left), who WAS the chief of police in McMechen, W. Va, and former Moundsville police officer just pled guilty this past week to an ongoing "relationship" of raping his stepdaughter. Only a couple of the news articles have mentioned that there are actually TWO victims, and articles are carefully worded to not inform whether his current charges are from both, or just his daughter. He is facing being sentenced now on three "sexually related" felonys. What we do know is that his stepdaughter tried resisting him and was forced to comply - over a period of a couple of years. His family sexual evil was discovered at the end of last year when the police responded to a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE call at their home. There is zero mention in the charges of his domestic violence or his wife.