Sent by Crystal Judson Brame 1 month before she was slain in her husband, Tacoma Police Chief David Brame's, murder-suicide...
To: Joseph J.M. Lombino, Attorney at Law
From: Crystal Brame
Subject: Journal Notes commencing on Monday February 24, 2 003 for documentation on dissolution of marriage.
I moved myself and the children out of the house at approximately 10:30 a.m. I moved all of us into my parents home in Gig Harbor. Later that day about 2:20 p.m. David phoned my parents residence. I spoke with him for approximately 2 0 minutes. He said he knew I was gone when he had returned home and had noticed that some of rny clothes were gone. He repeatedly asked me to come home and told me that he loved me. He told me not to cry so hard and not to be so upset. I told him I needed to go because I had to pick our son up at pre-school, and that I needed to leave no later than 2:45 p.m. so that I would not be late. I asked if he would be home after 7 p.m. and he said he would since he was just going to the pharmacy.
The process server phoned me at approximately 4 p.m. and relayed to me that David had been served with the divorce papers. A couple of hours later around 6 p.m. David phoned and asked to speak to me. He was crying and told me that he was not alone that he had called the Tacoma Police Chaplain to come over to our residence to be with him. He asked if I would come over and talk. I said I would.
I arrived at our home and spoke with David and the Tacoma Police Chaplain Bill Bowlby. I asked David if he told the Chaplain why I had filed for divorce, and he said no. The Chaplain asked why I had filed for divorce. I told him the reasons that I had filed were mainly 3 reasons: David was controlling with the money, there were other women in his life (which included unfaithfulness, threesomes, and foursomes), and his mother who had been physically abusive to the children, and had made derogatory comments and said I was a terrible mother in front of the children. His mother had caused a lot of marriage problems. Bill Bowlby at that point seemed surprised and even admitted he knew how mothers can cause marriage problems and said that his own mother single handedly caused 5 of his sister's divorces. After some discussion, Chaplain Bowlby asked if I was willing to say a prayer. I said I would, and the three of us did so. He stated to David that he could tell I really cared about David, and that this must have been a very difficult decision. Chaplain Bowlby asked me to call off the divorce proceedings for 6 weeks and meet with him and David for counseling. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that, and that I needed some time. I had been crying all day, as I told them both that this was the hardest decision I had ever made in my life, however, I felt it was the best decision not only for me, but for our beautiful children as well. I told them at first I stayed in the marriage for the children, but then I knew that it was not a healthy environment for me or the children and that I left in the best interest for all of us. I told them both that I just wanted for me and the children to be safe, and to be happy. I felt the only way we would be safe and happy was to leave the marriage. I did add that there was one other issue for leaving the marriage...David had a real issue/problem with wanting and being insistent on sleeping with our daughter Haley. As I got ready to leave the Chaplain asked me if he could call me. I told him I would rather he didn't as he works for David, and I would rather talk to an independent person should I ever decide to go to counseling. I left and returned home to my parents residence.
David had called me in the late afternoon to early evening and had asked when he could see the kids and was crying. Per the papers that he was served it stated that visitation would be every other weekend. However, I felt so bad for him that I let him see the children that evening for a couple of hours.
He again was crying and wanted to talk to me and see the children. He was begging me to move back home and drop the dissolution process. I told him I needed some time. I let him have the children again for over 3 hours. David later called me that night for over 2 1/2 hours begging me to come back to him and told me over and over how much he loved me, and how much I meant to him. He said he realized how much he appreciated how much I really did for him and the children all the years we had been married. David said he had really under appreciated me, and that all the marriage problems were his fault and he didn't blame me for leaving. However, I would I please just please take him back. He said he only wanted to be married to me, and that he was a fool to want other women. He continued by saying that he. had the perfect wife and perfect life and that he threw it all away for nothing.
I called David while I was at the Gig Harbor Conservatory with my mother and David Jr. for Haley's 6:30 p.m. voice lesson. I asked him if he would like to come hug the children goodnight. He said he would. He talked with them for a few minutes and then proceeded to beg me to come and move back home. He said he couldn't emphasize enough how much he loved me and what a great wife I had been the entire marriage. He said he just felt he couldn't go on without me, and he couldn't take me being gone anymore and that I needed to move back home so that we could be a family again.
I had asked David what weekend he wanted the children regarding the visitation schedule. He said he wanted them tomorrow February 28th through Sunday March 2nd, since he was not going to miss "his play" he wanted to go to on Saturday March 8th. We have season tickets to the 5th Ave. theater. The play was my Fair Lady. David wanted me to go with him to the play for a "date." I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing that, and besides the weekend of the play I didn't want to miss any time with our children since they are and have always been my priority. David wanted to know what I was going to do with my ticket if I wasn't going to go with him as I usually did. I told him I would give my ticket to Haley (he had mentioned before about having Mary Hermann go - she is the female detective of whom he had planned 3 threesomes with. One in our home on December 21st, one for Seattle at the Four Seasons Hotel, and one in New York in the spring). I told David although I didn't want to lose any time with Haley on my weekend for visitation, I thought it might be nice to give our daughter an experience of a lifetime and have her hear professionals sing since she was taking voice lessons. He wasn't sure he liked that idea and said he would have to think about it. I asked then if he would rather give me his ticket and I would take her. He said he wouldn't give his ticket up for anyone. I told him I would gladly give up mine for one of our kids (David Jr. is too young to go to the theater - theater policy requires that the child be at least 8 years old and Haley is 8. David Jr. is only 5). He finally agreed to take her. Later on the following week Haley and I got very sick and out of niceness I gave my ticket to David so that he could take someone else instead of "eating the ticket," even if it meant his "other interest."
David Jr. and I had gone over to our house to get some personal items and David was there. He talked with me for about an hour apologizing for all the unfaithfulness, and for how bad he had treated me in the marriage. He said he needed more time for me to hear him out and would I please come over this weekend and hear what he had to say. He wanted me to know why he had hurt me so much. He wanted me to do this he said before he talked to an attorney, either by retaining one or even consulting with one for free. He wanted me to come on Sunday afternoon to talk and I agreed. David Jr. and I got ready to go and he said he needed to go to work because he had an appointment.
David was to pick up Haley and David Jr. for his first weekend for visitation. He was to arrive at 6 p.m. and instead arrived at 7:10 p.m. stating that he just couldn't make it on time.
He gave no reason as to why he was so late. I helped him out to the car with the children's belongings and car seats. David Jr. started to cry and wanted mommy to come with them to go home. I started to cry also as this was extremely difficult to say goodbye to our children for the first time. This would be the first time David would have ever had the kids by himself overnight in their lives.
David Sr. told me, "Look what you are doing to the kids. Look what you've done to our children by filing for divorce." I told him, "No David, I haven't done anything to our children. Your choices regarding controlling me, other women, and not supporting me nor the children when your mother has been abusive is what you have done to our children, and our family. It is your choices David of why we are in the situation we are in now." He then looked at me and told me he wanted me to get in the car and come home with him' and the children and drop the divorce proceedings. I told him I just wasn't comfortable doing that right now. He then said to me, "I want you to go in the house and order the 3 of us a pizza for dinner so that it will get there sooner. David had requested the night prior to have dinner with the kids, so I had not fixed dinner before he picked them up. Also, he was an hour and 10 minutes late. It is only an 8 to 9 minute drive from our residence to my parents residence. I told him "No, I will not order dinner, and that it was his responsibility to feed the children since they were in his care until Sunday evening. I also reminded him that he requested to have dinner with the children, and I had abided by his wishes to do so."
He told me that it was just to much to take care of by himself and that I had always taken care of dinners. He then left with the children after I hugged and kissed them both goodbye. David was very angry that I had not followed "his orders." As he drove away he glared at me and looked back at me as he drove off.
I called the children about 8:30 p.m. to tell them goodnight. I told both of them how much I missed both of them and that I missed them so much that I couldn't wait to see them both on Sunday.
David had asked me to go to lunch with him and the children, so that I could help take care of them. I would have loved to have been with the children, but reminded him that this was his special time with the children. He said he didn't realize how much work I really did around the house, and by getting the children ready. He said he just couldn't do it all alone and needed help, that taking care of the children by himself was too much work. I declined the invitation, because I knew later he would accuse me of taking time out of "his visitation."
Later that day I called our residence around 1:20 p.m. and asked David if I could bring over the children's bikes, helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, and gloves. It was a sunny day, and generally all the kids in the neighborhood like to ride their bikes together in our col.-de-sac. He had forgotten them the night before. He said it would be ok if I brought them. My mother and I arrived and brought the bikes and their safety gear to the children. The children were so happy, and were happy to see me and gave me, as I did them lots of hugs, and kisses. David Sr. proceeded to cry and begged me to come back in front of the children, and said he just couldn't make it without me and wanted to be a family again, and got down on his knees literally and begged be to come back to our home and drop the divorce. I told him I just needed some time. He confirmed with me that I was going to come over on Sunday afternoon. I told David that the children needed some clothes, that they had outgrown some things and we really needed to get them some necessities. He stated he would UNDER ONE CONDITION...I have to go with him to buy them clothes or no deal. David Sr. said he would only get them clothes if we went together, just us two. I asked if he was willing to take the kids himself to go get clothes, and I would give him all their sizes (Since he didn't know what their sizes were). He said, "Crystal, either you go with me or the kids don't get any clothes." I told him that I was not going to deprive our kids just because I.would not follow his orders, and that I would go get the kids clothes myself, since I wasn't comfortable being alone with him.
David again cried, and begged me to come back. He told me he just couldn't stand being in our home without me, and would I please just move back in right away so that we could be together because he loved me more than anything.
I kissed and hugged the children goodbye and left our home with my. mother to go to Tacoma Mall to buy Haley and David Jr. clothes on my own.
I called the children that evening from my sister's house of where I was having dinner with her, her husband Dave, and my parents. I spoke with both Haley and David and told them I missed them and loved them. I told them I couldn't wait until Sunday to see them! David (Sr.) got on the phone. He was crying and begging me to come back to him. He wanted me to move back home where I "belonged." He asked if I would still come over to talk with him. I told him I would since I always keep my word, which he knows. He stated that he would like the opportunity to explain why he did the things that he did, and just how really sorry he was. I told him I would be over at 2 p.m. since David Jr. would be down for his nap then, and it would be easier to talk with him.
I went over to our home at 2 p.m. just as I said I would. David and I went into the family room to talk. He started explaining of why he wasn't a good husband and that he had failed as a father. He repeated that he was just a terrible- husband and that he didn't know how to keep a wife. I listened for quite sometime to his explanations. He said HE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET ME BACK. He said he couldn't emphasize this enough. In short, I told him what I would want were a few very important things: first there would not EVER BE ANY CONTACT WITH HIS MOTHER (I told him that this was a deal breaker), and that I wanted more money from him since the limited amount made me a nervous wreck (of how I would be able to afford necessities for the children), I didn't want to be controlled in any way . shape or form, and I wanted the truth about Mary Hermann (and other women also...including the reasons for threesomes etc), and since he already had 3 different versions to this story, I wanted the truth. I further clarified contact with his mother meant NO CONTACT WITH ME OR THE CHILDREN NOT HIM. I told him he can see her as much as possible, however, I didn't want her at our home, even if I'm gone with the children. She has been so mean both physically and mentally abusive I am not comfortable with her around and neither are the children. I asked that he please respect me and the children and just see her without us. As far as the money and control, I told him I can't live this way anymore, and furthermore I won't. He said you won't have to. I replied, "That's right because I won't." I gave him the 3 versions of the Mary Hermann story and instead of telling the truth, he added a 4th version!
I told him that I had heard enough. He said he would still have his mom out no matter how we felt, since afterall, blood is thicker than water...and "that's my mother." He said we could maybe negotiate a little more money, however I lived (meaning me) a privileged lifestyle by getting to have $100.00 every TWO WEEKS! Then he corrected himself and told me that actually I was even more lucky than I realized since really I get $216.00 per pay period (every 2 weeks), because there are 26 pay periods in a year and that dollar cost averages out to technically be $216.00 per month!
I told him it was time for me to go. I had heard enough. I gave him the chance to explain and same old stuff he was not the "Changed Man" as he said he was. He told me to call off the divorce and I told him I would not. He said that was fine and I would as well as Joe would be hearing from his attorney tomorrow. He said his attorney wanted to make an offer. I asked WHAT ATTORNEY? I came over under the auspices of he had NOT RETAINED, NOR HAD HE CONTACTED AN ATTORNEY, SINCE HE WANTED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE RETAINING OR CONSULTING WITH ONE. AGAIN, HE HAD LIED TO ME, AND I HAD COME OVER TO TALK IN GOOD FAITH, ONLY TO BE BETRAYED ONCE AGAIN. I kissed and hugged the children goodbye. He started YELLING AT ME! I WILL PICK THE VENUE FOR THIS DIVORCE, NOT YOU. I'M MOVING IT TO PIERCE COUNTY SO I CAN HAVE PEOPLE I KNOW IN COURT AND YOU WON'T STAND A CHANCE. IT WILL BE THE CHIEF OF POLICE'S WORD AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE JUST A HOUSEWIFE. I WILL RAKE YOU OVER THE COALS BEFORE ALL THIS IS OVER. HE TOLD ME THAT I HAD BETTER DROP THE DIVORCE NOW.
I told the children that I needed to go and that I would see them later. I again hugged and kissed them goodbye and they told me not to cry. David followed me out to the garage and told me that for the last time I was to drop the divorce. I asked that he just please respect my requests and give me some space. I returned to my parents home.
David returned with the children later that evening and continued to persist with his requests for me to be alone with him and to come back to him. I AGAIN REMINDED HIM TO PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND RESPECT MY WISHES THAT I JUST WANT TIME AND SPACE AWAY FROM HIM. HE TOLD ME THAT HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE!
David had left messages for me to talk to him. The phone messages didn't stop., so I finally called him back so that we could have a night's peace. I called back at 8:20 p.m. only to get the answering machine. I stated that I was just returning his call. David phoned me back at 10:03 p.m.
During the phone call he repeatedly stated that he wanted to be alone with me and talk with me one on one, because he didn't want anyone to hear anything he had to say. He continued the conversation by telling me that he had struggled with everything that he had done and the split between us he would NEVER ACCEPT. He told me, "I say to myself, why am I this way? I need you to know why I can reason this in my mind. You need to give me one reason why I am losing you. You will always be my true love and I will NEVER let you go! Do you get that Crystal? NEVER MEANS NEVER! I spent two years and three months and 1 0 days dating you, and you LEAVING ME WILL BE THE COSTLIEST MISTAKE YOU'LL EVER MAKE WITH ME!
I want you to reconcile with me, and I just can't understand why you won't come back to me right now. We can pursue a path together, and I do mean together Crystal. You will never be without me. I will always be there knocking on your door even when you are old, or away from me. I will never let you be alone, or ever be away from me.
I'll always be there. You'll be sorry til the day you die."
David wanted to come to Little Lambs preschool, and I agreed. I thought it would be nice for him to see David Jr. After going into the classroom I INVITED DAVID TO COME TO DAVID JR.'s SPECIAL DAY - HE WAS GOING TO CELEBRATE his birthday. Two of David's teachers were there and confirmed with him to come.
ON THE DAY OF THE PARTY, MARCH 20th 2003, DAVID WAS AT TAPCO CREDIT UNION FREEZING ME OUT OF OUR JOINT SAVINGS ACCOUNT. THE TRANSACTIONS TOOK PLACE AT PRECISELY 12:33 and 12:35 p.m. DAVID JR'S SPECIAL DAY TO CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY BEGAN AT 12:30 p.m. AT PRESCHOOL. I TOOK PICTURES OF DAVID JR. I HAD ALSO MADE HIM A SPECIAL FAMILY PHOTO PICTURE BOARD FOR THIS SPECIAL EVENT. WE WAITED FOR HIS FATHER TO SHOW UP. EVEN THE TEACHERS INQUIRED WHERE DAVID SR. WAS. DAVID JR. ASKED IF HIS DAD WAS COMING OR NOT. APPARENTLY, DAVID (Sr.) HAD HIS PRIORITIES IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO FREEZE HIS WIFE UNILATERALLY OUT OF THE JOINT SAVINGS ACCOUNTS AT TAPCO CREDIT UNION, INSTEAD OF BEING AT HIS SON'S BIRTHDAY AT PRESCHOOL!
David had sat in my car "wanting to talk" after walking out of preschool.
He gave me a Bible from Chaplain Bill Bowlby.
He asked me to go lunch at Anthony's in Gig Harbor. He also TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO DROP THE DIVORCE AND MOVE BACK HOME BY THE TIME HE GOT HOME FROM WORK. I told him I. wasn't going to do that and I needed some time and space. I returned back to my parents.
David went to Discovery Elementary to see Haley before school with my permission. HALEY STATED SHE DIDN'T WANT HER DAD AT SCHOOL AND THAT IT UPSETS HER. THE TEACHERS ASKED WHAT THE SPECIAL OCCASION WAS SINCE THEY HAD ONLY SEEN DAVID A COUPLE OF TIMES IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME EVER HE HAD BEEN TO SCHOOL IN THE MORNING. HALEY TOLD ME BEFORE HER DAD AND I LEFT THE CLASS TO PLEASE NOT HAVE HIM COME ANYMORE, BECAUSE SHE WAS SICK OF IT. David Jr. was with us as we walked out of the school. David wanted me to come to the house and work on the taxes. I have never done our taxes. I told him the answer was no. I asked him if he was going to work and he stated that he was not, he was just going to go home.
Haley and I had become ill the night before. I had Haley call her dad at 7:30 a.m., she told her dad that she was sick and MACHINE WAS A GIFT FROM MY PARENTS TO ME, AND WAS NOT DAVID'S). I called David's office and spoke with 2 secretaries who I have known and both were extremely rude to me. Both refused to put me through to David. I informed his secretary Jeanette Blackwell that I had filed for divorce and David was removing property from our home that he was not to be doing and I needed to talk to him. I told her that I also needed to speak to him about the Camry. She refused to put me through until I told her that that was fine, I would just call my attorney. She immediately put me through stating, "Chief Brame is on the line."
DAVID TOLD ME THAT HE TOOK THE CALLER ID/ANSWERING MACHINE OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TOOK IT TO WORK, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT ANY MESSAGES FROM ME OR THE KIDS i HE SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW IF HE WOULD RETURN IT OR NOT SINCE LEGAL PAPERS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.
I asked him why he just didn't unplug it. He would not answer me.
3/12/0 3 Wednesday
No call to the children from their dad.
No call to the children from their dad.
David picked the children up at 5:10 p.m. He apologized to my mother for all the trouble he had caused. Earlier in the day Haley and I got our hair cut and our hairdresser Marcus Anthony had told me, my mom and Haley that David had trashed me terrible to him before I had even filed for divorce. My mom and I took Haley to buy shoes, 2 pair of white socks, and David Jr. a pair of slippers. HALEY HAD GONE UP 2 SHOE SIZES. SHE WENT FROM A1 1/2 TO A3 1/2. I ASKED DAVID IF HE WOULD HELP CONTRIBUTE TO THE SHOES OR REIMBURSE ME, SINCE AT THIS POINT HE STILL HAD NOT GIVEN ME ANY MONEY FOR ME OR THE CHILDREN. HE TOLD ME TO PROVE IT AND SHOW HIM THE RECEIPT, WHICH I DID IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. DAVID SAID, "BEFORE I GIVE YOU OR THE CHILDREN EVEN ONE DOLLAR, I WILL SEE YOU DEAD FIRST."
DAVID REFUSED TO GIVE ME ANY MONEY AT ALL FOR THE CHILDREN'S SHOES OR SLIPPERS, (socks also).
HALEY TOLD HER DAD, "DAD YOU KNOW WHEN I COME TO STAY WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND I HAVE TO SLEEP IN MY OWN BED. YOU KNOW THAT .. RIGHT." HER DAD REPLIED, "OH DARN, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ONE THING I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO MOST."
THE CHILDREN WALKED OUT TO LEAVE AND HALEY STOPPED AND THREW HER ARMS AROUND MY WAIST AND CRIED REALLY HARD, STATING SHE WANTED TO STAY WITH ME, AND HER GRANDMA AND PAPA JUDSON. I TOLD HER EVERYTHING WOULD BE OK AND I WOULD CALL HER, AND SHE COULD CALL ME ANYTIME.
DAVID JR. WAS ALSO SICK AND ON ZITHROMAX.
AT 7:30p.m. I CALLED DAVID AND ASKED IF I COULD BRING OVER THE THERMOSCAN THERMOMETER SO THAT DAVID JR.'S TEMPERATURE COULD BE MONITORED. HE FINALLY AGREED. I HAD HIS TEMP ALMOST NORMAL WHEN HE LEFT. HIS DAD HAD NOT GIVEN HIM HIS TYLENOL OR MOTRIN LIKE I HAD ASKED. HE HAD OVER A 101 FEVER. I ASKED AGAIN FOR HIS MEDICINE TO BE GIVEN ONLY TO BE TOLD, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
David brought the children back to our home on Sunday evening & had forgotten items. My mom and I went to get the items at our home. I asked him if he would please give me some money foe the children's clothes/shoes. He said he would write me a check and then changed his mind and told me he would not give me any money at all.
David tried to talk quietly, and asked me to call him as this was not the proper setting. He told me that he wanted to talk to me alone, not with my mother there. He told me that he wanted to be with me one on one. I told him no, and anything he had to say to me he could say in front of my mother. I told him that both my parents were aware of HIS OTHER WOMEN, HIS WANTING ME TO PARTICIPATE IN THRESOMES AND FOURSOMES AND EVEN DO IT IN OUR HOME WHERE OUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN ARE. HIS THREESOMES INCLUDE DETECTIVE MARY HERMANN, AN EMPLOYEE OF HIS! A COUPLE FROM CANADA WHO REFUSED, AND AN AFRICAN AMERICAN RETIRED POLICE LT. _______. DAVID KNEW I WAS VERY AGAINST ALL OF THIS, AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE THREE MAJOR REASONS THAT I FILED FOR DIVORCE.
DAVID'S RESPONSE WAS, "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! HE KEPT REPEATING IT.
I ASKED IF HE WAS DENYING ANYTHING WITH MARY HERMANN, AND HE SAID NO. HE HAD MET HER, TAKEN OUT FOR LUNCHES, PLANNED THIS IN OUR HOME WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, PLANNED THIS FOR SEATTLE, A SPRING TRIP TO NEW YORK! I DID NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM WANT TO PARTICIPATE AT ANY TIME IN THIS BEHAVIOR! HE KNEW I WAS VERY MUCH AGAINST THIS AND THAT IT WAS ONE OF THE TOP FOUR REASONS WHY I FILED FOR DIVORCE, AND WHY I WILL NEVER GO BACK (CONTROL, PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE AND HIS PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE MOTHER)!
His response to me again was, "I don't give a shit, and now it is time for you to go." He opened the door and I left.
My mom and I took Haley to school, and we went to my residence to get some school things and books for Haley. I opened the garage door with my remote and the police car was now occupying the stall I usually had the 2003 Camry in. I went into the house and got the things I needed. He kept trying to whisper to me to call him, that he loved me, and rubbed my ring finger on my left hand (I had not worn my wedding ring since he was served with divorce papers on 2/24/03). We left the house immediately. (I had tried to explain some of Haley's math homework to him when he was rubbing my finger - of which I pulled my hand away immediately).
No calls from their dad
No calls from their dad
No calls from their dad
David called the children from a cell phone and only spoke to the kids for about 2 1/2 minutes total.
David called and left a message for the kids - my parents were not home, and the children and I attended Haley's best friends 8th birthday party - Lily Schirmer at her home. We were gone - attending the party when he had called.
In the afternoon Haley returned her dad's phone call. She asked him why he makes mommy cry, and his reply was that he doesn't make mommy cry. He wanted to speak with me. He was talking so loud that I held the phone away from me about 2 feet and my mom and Haley could, hear every word he said. He told me that he didn't want a divorce, and how he loved me so much.
He said he just couldn't explain why he wanted to have threesomes with Mary Hermann. He said he was trying to work through that and hopes that the psychologist can explain why he has these thoughts and needs to do things like this.
He wanted then to question me on why I had taken laundry soap when I left (although I had left him 3 containers of soap). I told him for necessary reasons to wash our clothes! The day I left, I left without a penny in my pocket. I asked him how he expected me to live . - he would never answer me.
He repeatedly asked me for my cell phone number. I wouldn't give it to him. I asked if I had any mail or email and he said no. I know for a fact I have email as people who email me had been continuing to do so. (MY MAIL OF COURSE HAD BEEN FOUND IN OUR KITCHEN GARBAGE - SOME OF IT ANYWAY).
David said, "For the 50,000th time Crystal I don't want a divorce and I appreciated everything you have done. I am eternally greatful and realize how important you are to me. I appreciate everything you have done through the years for me and the children. I think you are a wonderful and intelligent person. I married you for one reason, and one reason only, because you have a college degree."
I ended the conversation.
David called to say goodnight to the children and I happened to answer the phone this time. He told me that he had all our Sundays planned for us. He said he had gone to the school and picked up a t-ball registration form and signed David Jr. up for every Sunday in May and June. I told him that he can't plan my Sundays without asking me first. I told HIM THAT I WOULD NOT SPEND EVERY SUNDAY WITH HIM. HE SAID, "DON'T WORRY I WON'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU THERE. I'M JUST GOING TO BE THERE AND HOLD YOUR HAND. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE. I'M GOING TO BE THERE EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, OR WHERE YOU GO!
I TOLD HIM I WAS NOT INTERESTED, AND WOULD HE PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME GET ON WITH MY LIFE. I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD GET ON WITH HIS, BECAUSE I HAVE. I ASKED HIM TO PLEASE RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND GIVE ME SPACE AND JUST LET ME GO ON WITH MY LIFE.
He then spoke very briefly with the children.
David spoke with the children briefly.
The 2003 Carnry was hit in the parking lot of the Allenmore Medical Center. The driver's door and the passenger were hit. I called 911 to report the hit and run. Two officers were later dispatched about 30 minutes later. One of whom I knew. They took a report. I went out to the law office to pick up paper work sent by David's attorney Anne Meath.
David left a message for me at 3:40 p.m. I did not return the call. Haley spoke with her dad and said she did not want to go to grandma Brame' s because SHE IS MEAN TO HER AND LITTLE DAVID, AND HALEY WENT ON TO SAY NOT ONLY DIDN'T SHE WANT TO GO, BUT THAT HER DAD COULDN'T MAKE HER GO EITHER! ONCE HALEY SAID THIS COMMENT HER DAD CUT HER OFF IMMEDIATELY AND HUNG UP ON HER.
My dad and I went in to the law office and spoke with Joe. I called David at 2:20 p.m. to inform him that I would make the children available for his dad's birthday celebration on the weekend even though his mother would be present. I asked that he please wish his dad a Happy Birthday. I also told him I was sending his dad a birthday card. I did so and enclosed Haley's school picture in it. (I've been told he doesn't think or know if he got it. I photocopied the card with the enclosed photo inside). He begged again for me to drop the divorce telling me how much he loved me. I told him no I was not going to do that, and I needed to go. He asked when the car would be fixed and I stated that I had to take it in on Monday to TITUS WILL/TOYOTA. He wanted to know if I wanted the red camry and then he would be down to one car (the city car). I told him no that I had already made arrangements for a rental car on my own. I ended the conversation.
(Before ending it, David said he was going to ask his mother if I could come to the party. He also asked if I would go out to dinner to Red Robin with him and the kids on Sunday and I declined the invitation).
David picked the children up LATE AGAIN. He called and said he just didn't know what time he was coming since he was at a retirement party at South Park Community Center for Deputy Chief Mike Darland. He had requested that on Friday nights when he gets the children that he have dinner with them. He said he didn't know what he was going to do for dinner for them since he didn't plan anything and DIDN'T HAVE ANY FOOD FOR THEM. PAPERS I RECEIVED ON THE 25TH OF MARCH STATED THAT FOR THE LAST 14 MONTHS DAVID "BLOCKS OUT HIS FRIDAYS." BLOCKING OUT MEANT THAT HE DIDN'T SCHEDULE ANY ADDITIONAL MEETINGS ON THAT DAY. THAT DAY WAS MEANT FOR OFFICE WORK AT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.
He arrived to get the children at 6:45 p.m. (PICK UP TIME WAS 6 P.M.) I kissed and hugged the children goodbye and told them to have a good time. David along with the kids in the car yelled at me - I Love you, miss you and have a good time in a sarcastic tone, and tore off out of the drive way.
When David called, he told me that unless I was willing to talk about reconciliation, then I was NOT GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO THE CHILDREN. HE CONTINUED BY TALKING AGAIN SO LOUDLY THAT MY PARENTS COULD HEAR HIM SAY, "YOU WERE THE MOTHER OF THE CHILDREN." I told him, "I still am the mother of the children." His reply was, "NO CRYSTAL, YOU WERE THE MOTHER OF THE CHILDREN. YOU USE TO BE THE MOTHER OF THE CHILDREN." I told him that I still am the mother of the children. He also stated that he would let me know on Sunday if he would allow me to get a divorce. I told him I didn't need "his permission, I had already filed." I asked to please let me speak to the children. He let me finally speak to Haley an David for just a minute and that was it.
I tried to call the children at 7:20 p.m. The answering machine came on. I tried again later and the same thing. I then paged David and he finally called back stating that the kids would have to talk to me later. Finally Haley called me. I heard HER DAD SAY, "TELL YOUR MOTHER THAT IT IS FUN AT GRANDMA BRAME'S, AND YOU TELL HER NOW." HALEY BEING THE OBEDIENT CHILD THAT SHE IS TOLD ME AS HER DAD SAID. HALEY WHISPERED TO ME THAT SHE WANTED TO TELL ME SOME THINGS LATER. David Jr. was allowed to say, "Hi mom. I love you. goodbye." His dad took the phone. I asked for him to bring them some short sleeved t-shirts, and my jewelry box. He stated that it was too much pressure and he was too stressed, and if I couldn't talk about reconciliation - then he didn't know if he could remember to bring things.
I didn't hear from the kids all day. He brought them back at 7:15 p.m.
Police Officer Involved Domestic Violence. Lighting a candle of remembrance for those who've lost their lives to domestic violence behind the blue wall, for strength and wisdom to those still there, and a non-ending prayer for those who thought they had escaped but can't stop being afraid.
CLICK HERE: Keeping this display of officer-involved domestic violence fatalities on top from now on...
Officer-Involved Domestic Fatalities - 1 Officer-Involved Domestic Fatalities - 2 [WA] Tragedy Will Occur If They Don't Have ...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
[WA] Crystal's Journal
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