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Friday, October 9, 2009

[NC] Trooper Stiwinter's wife is afraid

...According to the wife's words it was not the first time he's threatened her life. The Henderson County Sheriff's Office says the troopers wife didn't choose to press charges...

Almost verbatim these 3 articles below said exactly the same thing. I'm posting pieces from each just to keep track of which news agencies are covering this initially. The date for the mentioned scheduled court hearing [Oct. 2] has PASSED - but there doesn't seem to be any update. I was waiting.

News Channel 7
Hendersonville Times-News
Published: October 1, 2009
A Henderson County N.C. Highway Patrol Trooper who’s wife took out a protective order against him is scheduled to appear in court Friday. The protective order filed in the Henderson County Clerk’s Office states that the wife of Highway Patrolman Scott Stiwinter said on the night of Sept. 8 he threatened her... [Full article here]

ABC 13 - Top Stories
Posted: Monday, September 28 2009,
...She writes that she took a roll of quarters from her husbands sock drawer. He came home from work and started fussing and screaming. The wife claims he spit dip in her face. The complaint says Stiwinter threatened to put a bullet between her eyes twice. An investigator writes the trooper threatened to shoot her by hitting her in the back of the head and that he would cause her physical harm if she called the police. According to the wife's words it was not the first time he's threatened her life... [LINK]

October 2, 2009
...Mrs. Stiwinter also said the trooper threatened to shoot her by hitting her in the back of the head and that he would cause her physical harm if she called the police. The Henderson County Sheriff’s Office has said the trooper’s wife chose not to press charges and they found no evidence of physical violence when they arrived at the scene. [Full article here]
[police officer, officer-involved, domestic violence, abuse, law enforcement, north carolina, terroristic threatening dui hit and run car accident crash resigned quit]



    The person threatens to commit any crime likely to result in death or in serious injury to person or property.

  2. A person gives their self PERMISSION to be frightening. It's a choice, not stress, not a bad marriage - not even alcohol at the root. It's feeling entitled... and threatening the victim to DARE NOT tell PROVES that they KNOW the acts they are perpetrating are illegal or wrong. It proves they are not "out of control", but rather imagine themself to have the control of God over their trembling victim.

    Very punkish style of manhood. And criminal.

    Most domestic violence murders are preceded by threats. That's good to keep in mind.

    Does "telling" help? Sometimes. It depends. It depends on the law enforcement agency and the safety networking done in behalf of the victim.


    It depends if the prosecutor accepts her recant as she backs out of the process due to fear, threats, or false promises - AND THEN LETS HER WALK OUT OF THE DOOR AS IF IT WAS NEVER TRUE, UNSUPPORTED, WITHOUT HELP TO SURVIVE WHAT SHE IS FACING NOW.

    It depends too on how adventurous - willing to explore a NEW LIFE - the victim will decide to let herself be, or how much her literal life means to her. [It's hard to care about your life when you are SO TIRED of being afraid!]

    Can we leave what we know and travel into the unknown to live in another state under a confidentiality program? [Could I?] Who goes so far as to change their identity? [So few.]

    And there is the sense that it's all in vain. That's maybe the hardest part. I was there.

    People tell you grab your kids and to go underground, and you look at them wondering if they UNDERSTAND that your law enforcement pursuer has friends and connections all over the U.S., with access to databases, and a badge to feign authorized investigations. Do they understand that a central part of your pursuer's JOB is to FIND OUT that which is hidden?... HIM AND ALL HIS CONNECTIONS.

    THERE IS THAT SENSE THAT even in hiding, even after disrupting your entire life, moving away from all that you've come to love, that they will

    still find you. Only you will be alone, and isolated when they do. That's part of what we fear.

    Is it true though. Are they really GODS? Doesn't part of it depend on how we manage the move?

    I believed it was futile when I was living in fear. I was influenced by his booming voice and looming shadow. I could still hear the echoing of his rants declaring his omnipotence, omnipresence, threats of what would happen if his job found out... I was prey, caged.

    Running is not a bad option, just hard. Not as hard if you network and keep in touch with people dedicated to helping you survive.

    As I read what this wife said I could hear the women-are-b*tches throughout. That's unworkable. Irreparable.

    There's only
    what to do now.

    We want to drop our arms, close our eyes, and take the bullet sometimes because we are so afraid,

    so tired of being afraid,

    so worn down

    and feel so


    But that is a real veering away from the design of our life and real abandonment of our bright potential. We let them truly tire us
    into behaving

    Lean. Reach for the hands.
    Rise, eat, take nourishment for the journey.

    Give surviving your best try.

    Acknowledge despair but don't lay down in it.
    Pull yourself up and explore
    paths out of


    "...Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold em'. Know when to walk away. Know when to run..."

  3. I usually troll Google news, but just found this in Yahoo:

    Court case against trooper continued
    October 3, 2009
    A Henderson County N.C. Highway Patrol trooper whose wife took out a protective order against him had his case continued in court Friday. A new court date had not been set as of Friday afternoon...

  4. Here is an update to this story for anyone who is curious as to what the outcome was. Out of fear of what he might do or who he might harm if he lost his job, his wife did not appear in court, therefore the restraining order was dropped. He got all his guns returned to him and he is back on the job. During a bitter divorce and custody battle he threatened to harm his first wife and she was denied a restraining order. What is going to happen next???

  5. Thank you so much for the update.

    But now, it is what it is. Not surprising.

    The individual players have to make their decisions.

  6. Sounds like a very dangerous time:

    ...Master Trooper Timothy S. Stiwinter resigned Friday after being arrested on charges of drunken driving and felony hit and run by Asheville police...

  7. I am that second wife that this story is about. We were divorced as of January 2011. Someone asked what would happen next. We all saw the answer to that question June 2010. I just hope he can get the help he needs and I thank God I got out safely.

  8. I'm glad you got out too. The further away you go the better. I know that you will continue to be very careful (and hyper-alert). I hope that you have support.

    And I'm so sorry for all that you have been through.

  9. [NC] "Resigned" Trooper Stiwinter's defense for drunk hit and run with injury is his divorce. Only 15 days in jail.

  10. Thank god you got out! It's over now! I love you babe!


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