Learn from us.
Tacoma can never turn back the hands of time.
The day before our chief shot Crystal and himself in a public parking lot - with their 2 very young children running to them immediately after - an area newspaper published that Crystal's allegations would not be investigated:
The wife of Tacoma police Chief David Brame has accused him in court documents of pointing his service revolver at her and trying to choke her during two separate incidents in the past six months... He explained his unusual behavior in court documents by saying he wanted to "protect himself" in case his wife ever tried to malign him with false abuse allegations... Tacoma City Manager Ray Corpuz, who hired Brame, cautioned that accusations made during a contested divorce must still be proven. "He's doing a great job," Corpuz said. "I'm not interested in exploring David's personal life at this time." Mayor Bill Baarsma, who sits on the City Council's public safety committee, was surprised at the allegations but said they were a "private matter." - "He's been an outstanding chief... Unless there's a complaint filed with the city manager as to his performance, I'm not prepared to comment"... Her fear increased last November when she alleged that Brame "choked me and threatened that he could snap my neck if he wanted to." It was the fourth time that year he'd tried to choke her, each time sending flowers later to apologize, she said. And just before they separated in February, she alleged in court documents that Brame pointed his service revolver at her, "telling me 'accidents happen.' "... "I do remain very afraid of my husband," she said in a court declaration. A hearing on the restraining order scheduled for last week in Kent was canceled after a motion was filed to move the case to Pierce County Superior Court. In court papers, Brame blamed his wife's "ferocious temper" and emotional instability for the abuse, noting his embarrassment at being victimized by someone who is just over 5 feet tall and weighs 105 pounds. Brame is 6-foot-1 and weighs 175 pounds. "As hard as it is to believe and as ashamed as I am of this fact, Mrs. Brame has physically abused me for a number of years, often in the presence of the children... Now, I see that I have become the very victim who frustrated me all those years," Brame said. But he denied pointing his revolver at his wife or choking her, saying that he was "scrupulously careful" to defend himself in the least aggressive manner when she attacked him.Learn what you will from this. Victims need to consider - for everyone involved or effected - getting to higher ground if this sounds like their department -and if you do, I have accumulated some links and also friends with helpful advice. Email me.
Comment? I am going through this right now, at present. I have been fighting this "thing" (can't call him a man, he's not human)for years. I have been abused and falsely accused of abusing him during the last incident that ultimately resulted in our divorce (been two years, not final yet). His "blue wall" is the DOC - no matter what I do or say or document, nothing happens to him. He has managed to remove our three children from my residential custody and is now abusing them. Each night I go to bed with this on my mind and awaken in the same state. People unaware of the cycle of violence ask, "why didn't you leave sooner?" but it's obvious...no matter when that moment comes where you have had enough and you make that fateful step, the abuse continues mentally through the court system. I have to cope with the fact that it will never really be over, ever. I do harbor some hope, I have faith in God and know that sooner or later, he'll "trip up" on his own. His lies and stories will consume him and it will become impossible to keep up with it all...it'll come crumbling down on top of him. All I can really do is make sure my children are safe when they are not with me. My love for them and their futures keep me sane and able to make it through each day. God bless you all who are going through this. There are men out there who will love you without violence, and I have managed to find one. I consider myself very lucky, but I am still afraid every day.ReplyDelete
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Unfortunately, they are so many of us in your situation. My ex-cop husband managed to throw me in jail and take FULL custody of my children. I cannot begin to tell you how my life has been turned upside down.
Eventually, my husband's actions caught up with him and he is now in jail. I have now started picking up the pieces of my life...although I think it will be a LONG time before I am anywhere near healed. Do we ever completely heal? I dont know.
Hang in there, hon. I am glad that you have faith in God...HE will not let you down. Please take care of yourself, and just know that you are NOT ALONE.
In Love and Light,